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    pravenz's Avatar
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    Why do most Asian shy away from non-asian women?

    I have always wondered why Asian men in my area shy away from non-asian women. I mean I love seeing interracial couples, however I don't see that much. So why do Asian men shy away from non-asian women. Specifically African-American ladies and latinas.
    Often we ladies are to shy or fear rejection when going up to men in general. Why don't men step up and ask women out from other cultures any more.


    I want to see more interracial babies and couples. Can any Asian man explain to me as to why you are shy around non-asian women? Please explain if you can in detail.

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    This thread topic has been posted before. but i will enlighten it. For me, its a cultural burrier of assumptions in many cases. He is thinking you are not interested, and you or other women are thinking he is not interested. In addition, some cultures (depending on how new they are to dating in America period) have different approaches to dating. The last is appearance, if you have company around you that is not welcoming, or if you have a not welcoming expression, why would they think of approaching.

    My only rebuttle to that is, i prefer the guy to approach me. It makes me feel secure that they dont care who is around or who is watching, they are going to go for what they want. Which means an independent mind. Security in knowing his parents dont influence his choices, his friends dont influence his choices, and he could give a fuck about "socially acceptable" Thats the kind of guy i like, as primitive as it sound.... he has to be unafraid to go for what he wants in life. Be it me, a career, or his dreams. If not, i will pass.

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  4. #3
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    Some Asian men are shy, some are genuinely not interested. I went to high school in a predominantly Asian community and it was common to see large numbers of Asians clustered into insular groups that never had to speak English or associate with anyone who didn't look and act like them. This speaks to the cultural barrier that anii mentioned above, but it has less to do with misconceptions and more to do with being interested in a certain type and sticking to it. I don't think this is inherently good or bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nominal View Post
    Some Asian men are shy, some are genuinely not interested. I went to high school in a predominantly Asian community and it was common to see large numbers of Asians clustered into insular groups that never had to speak English or associate with anyone who didn't look and act like them. This speaks to the cultural barrier that anii mentioned above, but it has less to do with misconceptions and more to do with being interested in a certain type and sticking to it. I don't think this is inherently good or bad.
    I agree, but i think its harmful when you look at the big picture. We are in a global world and there should be less exclusiveness. I ask anyone one of heritage from another country. Are you X living in X or are you X with a heritage from X. Just because you are American, Canadian, or Aussie first does not mean that bieng from a ethnic group second means you are not proud.

    *bops Nominal on the head* .... you know what that is for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aniiko View Post
    I agree, but i think its harmful when you look at the big picture. We are in a global world and there should be less exclusiveness. I ask anyone one of heritage from another country. Are you X living in X or are you X with a heritage from X. Just because you are American, Canadian, or Aussie first does not mean that bieng from a ethnic group second means you are not proud.

    *bops Nominal on the head* .... you know what that is for.
    It's not about exclusiveness, it's about social shortcuts. There's a higher percentage of similar cultural touchstones shared between people of similar backgrounds (ie. FOBs with FOBs) so it's natural that they'd stick with what they know and have that become a preference. When it comes to the mental risk/ reward calculation, most people would seek to minimize risk and maximize reward. That being the case, it's no wonder that people tend to date within their own social circles. Crack the Asian social circle and you'll get more Asian guys. There are points of overlap in places where the Asian circle drops into the "real world", but even out at a bar/ club the math has to make sense.

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    Koreans normally hang within their own clique.

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    maybe the short answer is the Asian men in Maryland are crappy, you'd have to travel to get something better than what you'd find locally...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shang Chi View Post
    maybe the short answer is the Asian men in Maryland are crappy, you'd have to travel to get something better than what you'd find locally...
    Being that i live around the corner from her... believe it or not.. most of them are proAsian. i work with a lot of Asian organizations through work and volunteering... it is what it is.


    Seldom do i even see them with "white" women. in VA its a tad better i do see a few Mixed couples of AMWW and AMBW but still its rare and most the guys are the ones that keep their skittles colors yellow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by aniiko View Post
    Seldom do i even see them with "white" women. in VA its a tad better i do see a few Mixed couples of AMWW and AMBW but still its rare and most the guys are the ones that keep their skittles colors yellow.
    Same old stuff. It's the result of many things. First it's the cultural brainwashing from years of media that has made many Asians uncomfortable going outside the zone. Second it's also a cultural thing. Older asians, especially females, in the family domineer the kids so much through the young years they're afraid to leave the zone when they are on their own. (This should take up it's own thread. Lots of Asian guys I know weren't allowed to date in high school, it was always school work and studying). Add to that some AF who have been known to throw water on any ember of attractions between "their" AM and non-AF. This happens a lot more than you would think. So what happens is you get a dichotomy. Lots of guys just go with the flow and don't rock the boat. Or a few guys who flip the boat and go all out. If you notice it's almost always either-or.

    I consulted in Maryland for a while. I saw quite a few AMWF and others. Certainly better than NYC.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lordt78 View Post
    Koreans normally hang within their own clique.
    I am Korean and I have never been with an "all Asian" group before. I have never dated anyone of my race, ever. The question you posted, Pravenz, is totally the other way for me, why do I shy away from Asian women? Mainly because I haven't seen too many attractive Asians in my area.

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    ^ Either-or, as I said.

    Nothing wrong with it, just an observation.

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    Shy Asian men are just pussy whipped to the nth degree. Bullying from people who are against Asian men dating out can cause Asian men to be shy. These shy Asian guys are probably frightened by the cat calls and stares they might get if they dated a non-Asian girl. To the Asian dudes with guts, I tip my hat off to them. Tho a minority, Asian dudes who go for what they want are to be respected.

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