Huh, this may take a while to think up since I don't think I would even date myself.

1. As co-attendant to my cat, you automatically earn the title "baby meowma."

2. I can fix almost anything (except for the stuff I really screw up [or lose interest in fixing]).

3. I will amuse you by identifying the typeface of every billboard advertisement we drive by.

4. I don't have a secret blog for you to stumble upon.

5. I can amuse myself at parties (though the host may not always be amused).

6. Endless source of useless knowledge.

7. I have really good peripheral vision (so I don't have to turn my head to check out other women, thus preserving your pride).

8. I'm a decent cook.