Is the increasing number of interracial couples a sign that America is becoming more 'open-minded' and accepting of 'diversity'? On closer scrutiny, it appears that the numbers of interracial couples are concentrated in very specific race-and-gender combinations. The prevalence of certain types of interracial couples and the near absence of others does not reflect the diversity that is here in America.

According to the 2000 census, the highest number of interracial marriages occur between Asian women and white men. Asians are the smallest ethnic population in the US, after Native Americans. Blacks still constitute the largest minority group. If we live in a society where people choose their spouses according to the laws of mathematical probability, you would expect that the highest number of interracial marriages would occur between blacks and whites. But this is not the case.

In this issue, we discuss the topics that are politically incorrect to talk about. We like to think of more intermarriage as a breakdown of racial prejudice, and to some extent, it is. But while white liberals pat themselves on the back and express their support for 'intermarriage' with the trite phrase, "in 50 years, everyone would have a Korean grandmother", let's also ask ourselves why it is not as popular to say, "In 50 years everyone would have a black grandmother or a Chinese grandfather."

Why the special focus on Asian-white relations and its unspoken side-effects on Asian and non-Asian people of color?

 Why the focus on Asians? Asians as a group outmarry at a higher rate than any other American ethnic group. In this century, mixed race Americans of Asian descent make up the highest numbers of mixed race infants.

The title of this webzine issue "The White-Yellow/Brown Love Fest and its Effects on non-Asian People of Color" may sound sarcastic or even incendiary, but this is not our intention. Before reading this issue, the reader should understand:

• Our magazine is not against intermarriage. We simply ask the questions why some intermarriages are more acceptable or popular than others.
• We are not denying that Asians experience prejudice from whites. We do not intend to trivialize the racism that Asians and other non-black people of color have to deal with. We merely wish to point out that black experiences with racism are more severe.
• We do not deny that other kinds of intermarriages besides Asian woman-white man can be subject to fetishism too. AWWM is selected as the topic because it constitutes the highest number of intermarriages according to the 2000 census.
• We do not claim that all AWWM unions are based on racial considerations. Certainly, there are some couples who would have chosen each other no matter what race their partner is. We do, however, have to examine the attitudes of those for whom race factored into their marriage choices.

We use interracial couples as poster-children for diversity, but the kinds of interracial unions which "mainstream" or white America accepts or encourages fit a very narrow profile. For centuries in this country, not all interracial marriages were considered equally acceptable - acceptance was meted out based on the races of the people involved. Nor were all mixed race children of the same standing. For example, white-Indians had occupied a higher standing than black-Indians in some circumstances. Now, as we step into the 21st century, perhaps it is time to reexamine our past attitudes and make conscious choices for the future, instead of bowing to society's dictates without understanding the sexual and racial politics which guide social trends.

 White people prefer yellow and brown people over black people?

  Despite blacks being the largest minority group, the number of black-white couples is lower than the number of Asian-white couples according to census counts. Whites are more likely to marry Latinos or Asians than blacks. White parents sometimes give their backhanded approval to their children's choice of Latino or Asian spouses with the remark, "at least s/he is not black".

Asians and Latinos are more acceptable as additions to white families than blacks are. Some white American couples wanting to build a family by adoption choose to go overseas to Latin America and Asia because "if you adopt domestically, you only have black babies to choose from."

Such reasons are hardly articulated publicly, of course. And certainly, there are other factors that drive white American couples overseas in the baby search. Oft quoted reasons include too much red tape for domestic adoptions, a birth family in a different country is less likely to try to reclaim an adopted child, and a wider pool of children to choose from.

A white couple planning to adopt a baby said they wanted an Asian because, unlike a black child, an Asian "would look more like us". I thought that was a strange comment, because most black Americans have European blood. Many black Americans, even very dark-skinned ones, have European traces in their facial features. A white woman seen with a black child is far more likely to be assumed to be the biological mother of the child than a white woman who is seen with a yellow child. If the couple's purpose of getting a light-skinned Asian child is to increase the chances of "passing" for birth parents, then they will be disappointed.

After centuries of having sexual relations with black women, many imposed by force, some not, white men still do not wish to marry black women. Yesterday's white men had illicit sexual relations with black women and did not acknowledge their own half-black children. Today's white men openly show off their Asian wives and girlfriends and proudly display their half-Asian children. According to census data, there are more white men who marry Asian women than white men who marry black women, even though there are more black women than Asian women in the United States. Makes so much sense to abuse and abandon those who not only served you but are also your kin. Black women are not begging white men to marry them either. Patricia Collins, a University of Cincinnati professor, wrote in Black Feminist Thought that "freedom for Black women has meant freedom from white men."

It is no secret that brown and yellow peoples have always been favored by whites over blacks. In the old South, Mexicans were welcome in white stores when black weren't. Native Americans were allowed to drink from white-only water fountains and enter white establishments.

This is not to claim that brown and yellow people do not suffer discrimination from whites. Filipinos have been lynched by white mobs for dating white women, and Native American man-white woman unions were not as encouraged as the converse. Similarly, when white Californian society began to find Mexican woman-Anglo man unions acceptable, they did not extend the same acceptance to Mexican men.

Although there may be unique problems in Asian, Latino and Native commmunities which blacks don't have to deal with, blacks still face many challenges from which yellow and brown people are spared. For example, no non-black men of color have been punished as cruelly and in such great numbers for allegedly paying attention to white women.

So what are Asians, Latinos, and Native Americans to do? Bow down and thank the white men for treating them better than the blacks are treated? Or question white society's rules for treating people according to where they are on the color scale?

 Four Profiles of Asian Women who have dated whites but not other people of color

Many Asians do not consider dating non-Asians who are people of color, or even fellow Asians from different ethnic groups. Blacks are the least favored in Asian intermarriage trends. However, there are relatively few Asians in America who will publicly admit having negative attitudes towards blacks. Others may express politically incorrect views privately to close friends while feeling a twinge of guilt. Yet others do not see themselves as racists at all. These individuals may not practice any active prejudice against non-whites, but still somehow limit their dating choices to whites even in an ethnically diverse environment.

Individual Asians don't consider dating non-white non-Asians for various reasons: attitudes towards blacks/Latinos/Native Americans could range anywhere on the scale from outright rejection to casual indifference - other people of color simply don't matter in their world. And perhaps, the cases of unquestioning indifference are the most difficult to diagnose and cure; it is hard to identify and address our prejudices when we can't even admit them to ourselves. Below are the profiles of 4 Asian women who date whites (the characters are based on real persons). Perhaps through them, people of all races can gain insight to our unspoken prejudices:

Woman 1:

Woman 1 was born in the US, in a minority enclave in a big city. Her family later moved to a nearly-all-white town, where she grew up. Woman 1 was interested in both whites and Asians during her high school years, but in adulthood, dated only Asian or Asian American men.

She does not consider dating blacks or Mexicans unless they have exceptional educational backgrounds. She says the "high black crime rate" is a turn-off. Woman 1 is ethnically East Asian. She does not find South Asians attractive although she is attracted to some whites and blacks.

Woman 2:

Woman 2 migrated to the US as a child and lived in a majority white state. She later moved to a more ethnically diverse city as an adult. To close friends, she admits she no longer find Asians attractive because of a few bad relationships. She says she prefers to "date whites".

Questions:

Asians' everyday rejection of other people of color

America is so self-congratulatory about attributing the increase in the number of interracial unions to our 'open-minded' culture, that we deliberately blind ourselves to the fact that many individuals involved in interracial unions are hardly 'open-minded', and sometimes, even racially bigoted, when it came to choosing their mates.

It is widely perceived in the black community that Asians are not their friends. The most common example of Asian hostility is rudeness from Asian storekeepers who serve black customers in black inner city neighborhoods. But there are many more subtle forms of discrimination which affect even middle-class professional blacks who do not live in the inner city.

We present one black man's experience in the form of a conversation between a ColorQ volunteer and Leroy (name changed to protect privacy), a well-to-do young professional on the East Coast:

Leroy: There are many Asian women in my neighborhood, many of them dating white men, and some of them even married with children. But when I meet them on the street, they treat me like I'm subhuman or just ignore me because my skin is brown. They won't have a conversation with me, they just walk by.

ColorQ: Many Asian immigrants living in the US originally came from huge metros like Tokyo, Manila and Hong Kong. In their big city culture, it is not typical to greet people they don't know on the street. Eye contact with a stranger could be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. In some East Asian cultures, people avoid direct eye contact except with peers with whom they are on friendly terms. So do you think that perhaps the Asian women who ignore you do so out of cultural conditioning, and not because you are black?

Leroy: It's not the same. I've seen a white guy walking in front of me say "Hi" to an Asian woman and when I said "Hi" two seconds later, i was totally ignored and most times they would walk away from me. This happens to me all the time!

When I used to eat in Chinese restaurants with my ex-girlfriend (Asian), everyone would stare at us. When I got up to use the bathroom, they would jump to the side as if I'm going to hurt them.

At my current job, there's a new Chinese girl working. I said "Hi" to her one day and she said nothing. After that, everyday that I saw her, I said "Hi" until one day she said "Hi" back. Now here's the funny part. She not only ignored me but the other Black men in the building. I went to see if she ignored all men, not just Black men. so I walked to a friend's office near hers and watched her talk to every white man in sight! Was it me?

 Asian women who marry white men claim special status?

In many Asian communities, having a white spouse is seen as a status symbol. This article uses material from Filipino American and Chinese sources, but it is not our intent to criticize specifically Filipinos and Chinese. All Asian communities need to examine why some Asian grandparents are proud to show off their half-white grandchildren but don't bother to "show off" their "full-Asian", half-Latino or half-Native American grandchildren. Some Asian grandparents dote on their half-white grandchildren in public but the same individuals will be afraid to be seen with their half-black grandchildren, if they have any.

Allan L.Bergano and Barbara L.Bergano-Kinney did a study with 150 Filipino American high school and college students on the East coast and the West coast. They surveyed students' responses to various questions concerning their experience as Filipino Americans. One of their interview subjects, a young East Coast woman, said:

Because of the American colonization process, Filipinas are being taught that "marrying up" means "marrying white." The Filipina's standard for beauty has changed so that they see white men as desirable and "bearers of the ideal beauty," ...not the Filipino man. The "white-oriented" mass media has blinded and brainwashed today's Filipina at the expense of the Filipino male.

Over here [in the Philippines], white skin is considered better. I cannot tell you how many products are advertised and sold here to "whiten" our skin. Marrying a white man for Filipinas is a step up... socially and economically. Mixed children by white men here are thought of as more valuable, more precious, and better prepared for modern society. This mentality isn't new. Many of the elders here believe "White is right." All white boyfriends, husbands, and mixed children are shown off here as trophies... and not always at the doing of the girlfriend/wife. My mother "shows off" my white husband more than I ever would.

Allan Bergano and Barbara Bergano-Kinney's article can be found in "Images, Roles, and Expectations of Filipino Americans by Filipino Americans", Filipino Americans: Transformation and Identity, editor Maria P.P. Root.

The Filipino's favoring of white Caucasians has often been attributed to the centuries-long Spanish colonization of the Philippines. But Chinese, who were not under European colonization for a lengthy period, don't seem to be doing much better when it comes to internalized racism. In Shanghai, Chinese parents boast about their foreign (usually white) sons-in-law. Sadly, giving special respect to whites is not limited to Chinese in China. We collected the following opinions from Chinese in different parts of the world.

Singaporean-born Chinese woman, 60s, Singapore:

There is a Chinese woman who married an European man in my apartment block. She is very snobbish and refuses to talk to the neighbors. Once, people in a few units heard her yelling very loudly and rudely at someone. No one else behaves like her. She acts as if she is higher than everyone else because she married an European man.

I read an essay written by one of my college mates who is half-white and half-Chinese. Her father is white. She related how her Chinese mother had observed a black man with a white woman, and their black-white children. And the Chinese woman commented to her Chinese-white children, "That is so weird. Why would a black man want to be with a white woman? Why would a white woman want to be with a black man?", without any hint of irony.

I was so disgusted when I read this. It seems the Chinese woman thinks she is somehow exempt from the same rules she applies to black people and black-white unions, that somehow it is ok for a Chinese woman to marry a white man, but not ok for a white woman to marry a black man. I have a guess she thinks that Chinese people have the same status as whites while blacks are of a lower rank.

I was on the sidewalk watching a parade in Chinatown. A float of Miss Chinatown contestants went by. One of them was half-white. The girl's mother happened to be standing next to me with her European American husband. Anyway the woman was gesticulating excitedly and shouting, "My daughter, my daughter!", trying to let people around her know that the girl on the float was her daughter. She was clearly very proud. Too proud maybe. I recall other Chinese mothers of mixed white children acting this way, but I never see any Chinese mothers of pure Chinese or mixed non-white children act like their kids are oh-so-special-the-whole-world-should-adore-them. And Chinese men who have half-white kids generally don't act like that either.

 White Americans' favorite excuses for Asians' favoring of white over black and brown

White Americans, especially self-styled liberals, do not like to be confronted with the claim that they receive special favor from Asians. Many white men who date Asians see their relationship as an exercise in 'racial open-mindedness', 'the way of the new America'. Any threat to their blissful imaginary picture of interracial 'equality' is met with vehement denial and irrational 'rationalizations'.

According to the 1990 census figures, there are 30 white-Asian couples to 1 black-Asian couple.¹ The ratio of whites to blacks is about 6 to 1. If Asian women who date interracially chose their partners according to the rules of mathematical possibility, you would expect the ratio of white-Asian unions to black-Asian unions to be closer to 6:1 than to 30:1. we will examine some of the excuses that white men come up with when they are asked to explain this disparity.

From my dialogs with whites, I find that white women in general are much, much more willing and able to see the internalized racism which affects the way people of color interact with whites. I have not met one white man who could admit that he is privileged by Asian prejudice for whites and against blacks.

In the 2nd section, we will ask white men why there are more Asian woman-white man couples than white woman-Asian men couples.

Why are black-Asian couples under-represented compared to white-Asian couples?

In this section, we will look at European American males' actual responses to this question.

Excuse 1: You can't force people to be together

A white boy who is living on the West Coast and dating a yellow women said this. He claims to like 'international people' and says he has black male friends.

This line is familiar to those of us who have watched the play Raisin in the Sun. The plot is partly about a black American family's decision to move into a white neighborhood. The European American representative of the homeowner's association tried to persuade the African American family not to move in. He said, "Rest assured that this has nothing to do with racism... you just can't force people to live together".

To this white boy, I said, "Then I 'rest assured' that this phenomenon of yellow women disproporationately choosing white men over black men 'has nothing to do with racism'. Your response actually gave credence to the idea you apparently wanted to deny, or at least avoid talking about. If Asian women in general were not racist against black men, there would be no need to 'force' Asian women to get together with black men, because it will happen in accordance to the laws of mathematical probability."

Excuse 2: Racial preferences are not a factor, but education is. Asians tend to be more educated than blacks and are hence more likely to marry whites

This is an excuse a boy from Vermont came up with. There is a degree of the truth to the claim that Asian Americans are more likely to be educated than blacks. In 1990, about 42% of Asian Americans had finished college compared with 25% of the general population.¹ But Vermont boy's assumption is that whites and Asians form the educational 'upper class', while blacks languish in an educational underclass and are barred from intermarriage with better-educated Asians. This assumption is not entirely accurate.

According to the Associated Press article, Blacks get parity in graduation, blacks graduate from high school at approximately the same rates as whites do (with a difference of about 1% in graduation rate) in 1997. But at the college level, differences widen. The March 1997 Current Population Survey indicated that half of Asian and Pacific Islanders ages 25 to 29 had received a bachelor's degree or higher, compared to one in three whites, one in seven blacks and one in 10 Hispanics.

But I believe educational qualifications alone do not account for the intermarriage disparity. There is quite a bit of anecdotal evidence to show that highly educated black men are still rejected by Asians in favor of white men. In one case, L, a well-paid black professional working on his master's degree, was rejected by his Asian girlfriend's mother, who saw his blackness and nothing else. In a Pet Sins webzine January 2002 article, a Chinese man rejected a black Stanford medical student as potential son-in-law.

Excuse 3: Maybe if an Asian woman met a black man who is handsome, educated and wealthy, she would be interested in him.

The boy from Vermont came up with this excuse too. What are the assumptions behind his statement? That a black man has to be all these perfect things before an Asian woman would look at him while all a white guy has to do to win her heart is be white? Or does our Vermont boy mean blacks are not as likely to be handsome, educated and well off as whites?

There is anecdotal evidence that even rich, highly educated black men are rejected by Asians in favor of whites. Asiaweek article The Minority Interracial Couples tells of a well-to-do black man with beach-front property and a master's degree who was rejected by his Asian girlfriend's family. Her sister's white husband, who was similarly qualified, was accepted without problems. This indicates that color matters more than education and wealth.

This young man claims he isn't racist. Perhaps he does not believe in the inherent biological inferiority of any racial group. But why is he unwilling to criticize or challenge a phenomenon of racial inequality? He doesn't even want things between black men and yellow women to change.

Excuse 4: I saw a couple of black-Asian couples

A white man from Utah, who is married to Chinese woman, said this. This is the typical "gatekeeper" excuse white people use to answer the claim that equal opportunity is not quite here yet. For example, whites claim that there is equal opportunity in the military by pointing at General Colin Powell. Whites point at the exception and insist it is the norm. They try not to look at the statistics. Statistics still indicate that Asian women marry black men in far lower numbers than would be expected from population ratios.

Excuse 5: Asians tend to be more integrated into white neighborhoods, hence increasing the chances of whites and Asians meeting and marrying.

This excuse is probably the one with the most truth in it. Asians have not been actively excluded from predominantly white neighborhoods to the same degree and intensity as blacks had. Many whites who prevented blacks from moving into their neighborhoods later put up with Mexican and Asian neighbors with the reason "at least they are not black."

Whenever a white man tries using this 'housing integration' excuse to explain the higher rates of Asians or Latinos with whites, he should also think of the reasons behind this phenomenon, and perhaps do his part to equalize the playing field for blacks too.

 Profiles of Asian Women who abandoned their Asian husbands for white men

There are many stories of Asian women who abandon their husbands for European men or men of European descent. Anecdotes - like the tale of a Filipina worker in Europe who claims to be a widow in order to marry a European, when her husband and children are still alive in the Philippines - are passed around Asian communities but seldom known to Europeans/European Americans.

White men, especially self-styled liberals, naively celebrate their interracial relationships with Asian women as "the triumph of personal choice over society's censure" - they tend to ignore the fact that Asian woman-white man unions are the least censured of America's interracial couples, and the most represented in print and media. Getting an Asian girlfriend or wife hardly challenges the status quo.

Films like Come See the Paradise and Ten Thousand Pieces of Gold show white men as an Asian woman's life-changing alternative to a loveless life with Asian men. Mainstream America media has consistently failed to see how some women who made choices to be with white men are also making choices to hurt men of color. We will present the profiles of 3 Asian women who deliberately and callously betrayed their fellow Asians who happened to be in the way of their marriages to white men. This is, by no means, an indictment of all white man-Asian woman unions. Our intent is to present images that are under-represented in mainstream media, to tell the stories that haven't been told.

Woman 1:

Woman 1 was born in China, moved to the US, where she quickly found a white American whom she wanted to marry. There was one problem - her Chinese husband in China. She asked her husband to come to the US, on the pretext of reuniting with him. She picked him up from the airport with a cab, gave the shocked man divorce papers to sign there and then, and then drove him to Chinatown where she pushed him out of the car. Acquaintances say she did that to get her green card. Numerous such stories of Chinese women, even those with children, abound. Many Chinese women in the US try to think up ways to abandon their husbands who are still in China.

Woman 2:

Woman 2 was a Malaysian-born Chinese. Her Chinese Malaysian husband was imprisoned during the 1960s for agitating for equal rights for Chinese citizens of Malaysia. While he was serving his 5 year term on behalf of the Chinese people, she divorced him and abandoned their daughter to be raised by his relatives while she tried to get married to a white man in England. After she married a white man and established herself in Europe, she then sent for her daughter.

Woman 3:

Woman 3 met her Chinese American husband in China. He was there on business when he met Woman 3, a divorcee with a son. He and she had an understanding that their marriage was not a love marriage, but that she wanted an opportunity to come to the US for a better material life, and he could do with some help with his business.

According to family members, the Chinese American treated both her and her son well. Then one day, she met a white man, a petty drug dealer, while working in her husband's restaurant in America, and ran off with him.

At that time, she had not been married to her Chinese American husband long enough to get her green card. But she chose to abandon a stable financial situation and a pending green card to shack up with a petty criminal. She was too ashamed to tell her husband of her choice, and made her young son call home to tell him she wasn't coming back.

A few days later, the white drug dealer was picked up by the police for his crimes, dashing her hopes that he would marry her and help her get her green card. Now our romantic leading lady gets her young son to call her husband to take her back. As proof that her husband isn't the monster that white men like to imagine yellow men to be, he actually wants to take her back out of sympathy, and out of respect for "their long relationship", much to the consternation of his relatives who think the woman should be divorced and then turned over to the INS for deportation.

Lest white guys claim that this marital infidelity manifesting itself in the preference for a white criminal over a honest Chinese businessman is a "triumph of love over materialism", and not plain betrayal, they should ask themselves the following questions:

Does East Asian men's sexism alienate East Asian women?

There is a common perception, among both Asians and whites, that white European-descent men prefer East Asian (yellow) women to white women because they are less "aggressive" or "argumentative", and East Asian women prefer white European-descent guys to East Asian guys because white guys are less sexist and more respectful of women. I do not know how widely this is true, but I'd like to share some of my observations on East Asian men.

I am a gay Asian woman, I have not dated interracially and I have not dated men, white or non-white. So my comment is that of an uninvolved observer, not that of someone trying to defend his/her relationship. From youth, I had observed some of the negative qualities of men of certain ethnicities.

A heterosexual native Thai woman told a Thai-Chinese friend about the evening out at the girl bars with me, which she enjoyed. She had many lesbian friends and relatives in Thailand. He admonished her about how she shouldn't be in such places and all that. I was outraged -- first, she is older than him by quite a bit and he shouldn't be in the business of lecturing her on how to live her life,. Second, it is homophobia/sexism -- he hates women's bars, not all bars. I was livid.

Actually, most of the native Thais I know are OK with transvestites, gays etc. But Chinese Thais are another story. Which really reminds me that men of East Asian-descent and I generally don't get along. (unless they're gay) That guy, just because he is a man, thinks he has the right to lecture an older person who is female. He was simply angered by the idea that women could sustain themselves perfectly well without men.

I remember my life in an East Asian-dominated society. Since I was 7 or 8, I noticed: I would be browsing in a store and Chinese men would shout "Don't touch this! What are you doing?!!" rudely. I noticed that other girls who were attractive or looked like girls were not treated like that. For the longest time, my self-esteem was so low. I was even afraid to go out because I never knew when someone -- a teacher, storekeeper, lab assistant, whatever -- would lash out at me without warning.

It didn't take me long to notice that women in the same positions did not treat me like that. I wasn't very race conscious in the way many people in the US are but when I got older, I realized that ALMOST all the men in the street who treated me decent were not East Asian. They were Southeast Asians or South Asians.

Then I realized it wasn't my fault, that I was not walking about with a huge sign "VICTIM" on my back. If it was something universally bad about me, then women and men of other races would react negatively too.

By the time I was in my late teens, I was routinely flunking job/academic interviews given by East Asian men, and excelling in those given by women or Asian men of other ethnicities.

I think it all boils down to the East Asian male view on the 'usefulness' of people. People are nice to the people who are of use to them. The women who are perceived as belonging to the useful class of "viable girlfriend material" are treated decently. The rest are useless and can go to hell for all the men care.

This attitude occurs to varying degrees in any culture, I think. It seems to be stronger among the East Asians than in some other ethnic groups. I saw too many East Asian men like Koreans and Japanese following the paradigm of "kindness only to the useful".

I've noticed that many (not all) Chinese/Japanese/Korean men don't bother even to be polite with women who are not girlfriend material. Sometimes they are downright callous and cruel. I remember incidents in which men came to my rescue or showed an interest in being friends without any other sort of interest, most of the men were black, white, or Asians who were not East Asian. The East Asian men who were friendly were mostly gay.

Some men don't see women as real people. When they had a chance with the woman, she was treated like a person. When they lost interest, or lost their chance, she was an object to be discarded.

I think if you truly value the other person as a real person, you wouldn't do that. I have a guy friend (European-descent American) who used to date this girl and then she really wasn't his type. He decided he didn't want to be her boyfriend any more. But he didn't just walk out of her life or stopped treating her well. He continues to be present in her life, and provides emotional support to her more than her own family does. She is ill and warded in the hospital. He visits her every single day!!! And he is not her boyfriend.

Having said all of that, I still believe that while some East Asian women may be truely attracted by individual white men's lesser degree of sexism, most others are motivated chiefly by the 'prestige' of being a white man. Why?

1. As I have described above, although my experiences with East Asian men were largely negative, there were many other non-white men who treated me well - black men, Latino men, South Asian men, Southeast Asian men. But yellow women rarely choose non-East Asian minority men as partners. If the man's personality/character was the only issue in their choice, I should expect to see more yellow women with brown and black men than what we see now.
2. There are quite a number of white guys with Asian wives or girlfriends who are selfish, insensitive, inconsiderate of the woman's needs, philandering - the embodiment of the untrue white stereotype of yellow men, only in white face. Yet yellow women stick with them. If yellow women rejected yellow men because of character and not color, then they wouldn't pick these white men who have so many of the yellow man's alleged flaws.

According to 1990 census figures, 72% of Asian-white couples consist of an Asian wife and a white husband.¹ White men who see themselves liberal and unprejudiced are nervous when asked to explain why there are more Asian woman-white man couples than white woman-Asian men couples. Some come up with the typical responses listed below. Others remain silent. Perhaps they know they cannot answer the question honestly without revealing their innermost racial prejudices against Asian men.

Why are there more white men with Asian women than Asian men with white women?

The irony is, the young white boy who made this excuse would never entertain the thought that his Chinese girlfriend is with him for his money. He upsets her by chasing other Asian women in front of her and openly criticising her country in public. She is afraid to ask him for too many favors because he acts as if his civil rights have violated when someone asks for his help, no matter how many times she helped him. She finds herself turning to her Chinese friends when she needs help getting anything done that is unrelated to sex, food or play. It is quite unlikely she is with him for the quality of his character. And since he adamantly believes she is not with him for his money, what does that leave us - his race?

Certainly some Asian women are motivated by money and may select any spouse, black, white or brown, as long as they are rich. But this is not always the case. Read the anecdote Chinese immigrant abandons Chinese businessman husband for white petty drug pusher. A Chinese woman leaves a Chinese man of well-to-do family and stable career for a petty criminal who happens to be white.

Excuse 2: Foreign Asian women are interested in the green cards their white spouses can provide.

Oddly, the white boy who came up with this 'explanation' does not believe his Chinese girlfriend could be with him for this reason. His assumption seems to be that only white Americans can provide green cards for their spouses. What about Americans of other ethnic groups? In a study done on Filipino mail order brides in the US, Filipino women always indicate their preference for Caucasian spouses in the mail-order bride catalogs.² If it was only the green card that mattered, then the race of the spouse shouldn't matter.

So if foreign Asian women were truly interested in green cards more than in white men, then you would see more unions between Asians and non-white Americans. An exchange student in China said although there were both black Americans and white Americans in China, she has never seen a black man with a Chinese woman. There are plenty of white men with Chinese women, though. So Asian and black men are not being rejected for their inability to provide green cards. They are rejected for their race.

Certainly there are cases of Asian women who would latch onto anyone regardless of race for green cards, but I think they are the minority. The majority are color-struck. I really do not want to believe this, but this has been what I observed. Having said that, I still acknowledge there are many Asians which don't have negative attitudes against other people of color.

Excuse 3: Asian men, being slimmer, are physically less imposing than white men. Asian men are also more modest and come across as having lower self-esteem. This makes them less competitive with white men.

What about black men, who stereotypically have "better" physiques than white men? Black men also don't have the disadvantage of Oriental modesty. Why are they still under-represented as partners to Asian women? Perhaps whiteness matters, no matter how white men in relationships with Asian women try to deny it.

M, an Asian American woman who has dated white man, noted that many (not all) white men who date Asian women fit the white stereotype of yellow men to a T. Many white men who accompany Asian women are unmasculine in appearance, unatheletic, scrawny, and bookish. Some white men who trail after their well-dressed, poised Asian girlfirends are hunchbacked, have downcast eyes and shuffle as they walk. Short white men are seen walking down the street with taller Asian girlfriends.

These white guys look like a white parody of yellow men, only in whiteface. There is nothing wrong with being short, nerdy and unmasculine. Nor should a woman reject a man as a person simply because he has bad posture or low self-esteem. But white men love to justify the gender inbalance in white/Asian intermarriage by claiming that Asian men are not interesting to Asian women because of these supposedly undesirable qualities. But if Asian women abandoned Asian men because of they are short, weak and nerdy, have bad posture and shuffle, then why do they date white men who have all the same undesirable qualities?

Excuse 4: Asian men are less well-endowed sexually than white men

Actually, none of the white men interviewed dared to raise this stereotype, but it is all the more insidious for not being brought into the light. Another article in this issue addresses this topic.

Excuse 5: Asian men are sexist and white men are not

Raquel Z. Ordenez, wrote in her article on Filipino mail order brides:

The American men imagine the Filipino woman as the epitome of the traditional wife: submissive, subservient, eager to please men and easy to please, erotic, exotic, a good housekeper, contented with a nice home, faithful, loyal, and not inclined to divorce her husband. Promotional literature helps to reinforce and disseminate this stereotypic image. Imagine the expectations raised by the Asian Experience brochure with the following ecstatic testimonies:

Congratulations! You have taken the first step towards discovering an eternal pleasure! This will happen when you find your number one Asian lady whose main objective is to please her husband. The enthusiasm shown and the pleasure they derive in accomplishing this goal is almost embarrassing! The beauty in this unique kind of treasure quest lies in the reality that somewhere on that vast Asian continent, a compatible lady is waiting to hear from you and we intend to do everything within our power to help you find her! As a matter of fact, we won't be at all surprised if you entertained thoughts of polygamy before making your final selection!

However, the issue of Asian male chauvinism cannot be lightly dismissed. Another article in this issue addresses the topic of Asian male attitudes. Yet Z, a black woman, noted that "mainstream", aka white, American media makes people of color look bad by "contrasting their best against our worst". Images of black people on TV are dominated by 'thug' and 'whore' types. Similarly, images of the most insensitive, unkind Asian men are contrasted against images of enlightened, humane white men when just as easily, there are individuals who fit the reverse pattern - sensitive, dignified Asian men vs crude, cruel white men. But these images are not given equal air time.

 Myth: 'Sexual Compatibility' spurs gender gap in 'yellow race' out-marriage

There is a stereotype that yellow (Mongoloid) men have smaller sexual organs than white (Caucasoid) men. This 'fact' is often quoted to explain why East Asian women marry white men at a much higher rate than their male counterparts marry white women. This trend is justified by 'White men can give yellow women greater sexual satisfaction, and yellow women with their narrower vaginas can give white men greater sexual satisfaction, but the reverse pairing - yellow man/white women, does not result in the same tight squeeze.'

Why are we supposedly "thinking", "polite" people talking about this stupid topic which is "vulgar" and "not worth a mention"? Because a lot of people have these ideas but they are afraid to talk about them, hence the racism and bigotry behind these ideas remain unchallenged. We may not want to talk about these ridiculous views, but that doesn't mean we don't believe them. So we will spend time talking about the ridiculous instead of sweeping it under the carpet because this ridiculousness has had a negative impact on the lives of yellow men long enough.

A) Now let's assume for the sake of argument that this stupid stereotype about yellow men's penis size is relevant in non-Asian's interracial dating choices 1) Excuse goes "poof" when you bring black men and other non-white men into the picture

Some East Asian women who date white men say they prefer white men because of white men's bigger penises. But when asked why they don't date black men, who, according to stereotypes, have even bigger penises, they are either stricken with silence, or say flat out they won't consider dating black men because of their own racism or the racism of their families.

If stereotypes of penis size is such a big deal to yellow women, then black men should be the most desirable, not white men. Assuming that the "fair" standard to judge men is penis size, the fact that yellow women are disproportionately with white men compared to black men, even taking into account black-white population ratios, shows the white skin color is still preferable over larger penises. This means that yellow women are racist, and contradicts the idea that yellow women prefer big penises. "Big penis" is just an excuse to date white men over yellow men. But when presented with black men, penis size suddenly does NOT matter to yellow women.

The discrepancy is even greater when you bring in hordes of other non-Mongoloid men, e.g. non-white Caucasians like Arabs, Indians etc. You don't see yellow women chasing after them in droves.

2) Stereotype falls flat when you bring non-Asian Mongoloid men into the picture

If smaller penis size is a "natural" characteristic of the Mongoloid type, then why do other "yellow" types like the Native American and the Pacific Islander not tarred with the same stereotype? They are Mongoloid like East Asians and Southeast Asians. But in contrast, Native American and Pacific Islander men are typed as virile warriors and hunters by white media. Of course size of sexual organs has nothing to do with virility, but white men and black men who put down Mongoloid Asian men always correlate the two. If this has any "biological fact", then all Mongoloids should be typed the same by popular perception, but they are not.

Penis-size does not matter, say non-yellow women!

White woman: actually guys with smaller penises are better in bed because they make more effort to please you. Guys with big penises think all they have to do is be big. Black woman: I like Asian guys because they are more considerate of my pleasure in bed. And size does not matter when it comes to Asian guys!

B) Now let's assume for the sake of argument that this stupid stereotype about yellow women's tight vaginas is relevant in non-Asian's interracial dating choices: 1) If tightness is so important to you, you can a) Get a short white woman, b) Buy a toy c) Get a man.

Men all over the world have long boasted about being tighter than women and being able to provide better sex for other men. If none of these options appeal to you, then perhaps "tight orifices" are not that important to you after all. Or is it something else about yellow women that you want?

2) Can the desire for "young-looking", "tight", and small-framed Asian women actually be displaced pedophilia? White woman: I have a brother who is 6'2", and the disturbing thing about him is he dates only waifish women who are about 5 feet tall. I always wonder why he doesn't date taller women. I can't help thinking he has a kind of latent desire for young girls.

Filipina woman: there are a lot of white tourists in the Philippines who go there because the women look like children, by white standards. They grope women, even those who are not sex workers, in public places. It is very disgusting. They can have sex with women who look like children over there because it is legal since the women are actually adults. C) How did these stupid stereotypes come about?

Generally smaller people will have smaller sexual organs, and smaller brains. Americans like to compare short East Asian men against tall men of West African and European descent. But what about comparing Pacific Islanders (who, like East Asians, are Mongoloid) against short Africans or Europeans?

The modern American stereotype of Asians having small penises sounds suspiciously like the past stereotype of blacks having smaller brains. A racist white American physician deliberately stacked his "research samples" with tall Europeans and short people of color to achieve the "statistics" of people of color having smaller cranium sizes than Europeans. For how the "racial brain size difference" theory has been debunked, see Alleged Differences in Brain Size between the Races.

But just as smaller brains don't necessarily correlate with intelligence (the dinosaurs had far bigger brains than humans - the question is in body size vs. brain size), smaller sexual organs don't necessarily correlate with performance.

Non-yellow men have deliberately perpetuated stereotypes against yellow men, and we do it everyday in all areas of life, if not openly, subtly. I suspect that when we compare a yellow man and a black/white man of the same height, the allegedly racial physical differences will be minimal.