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AznLover 28 and overDiscussions by members aged 28 and over.
as i examine who i've become in my 30's, i'm beginning to notice my growing attraction to what some of my friends have referred to as a "real woman". i'd heard this term many times before, but as a young man it painted images of a well-put-together, all around balanced, beautiful, perfect and unblemished woman. but this was the naivete of a man who hadn't had enough life experience to understand and appreciate what a real woman is.
a real woman is not perfect. she is, in fact, in many ways flawed, but she recognizes these flaws, accepts them, attempts to understand them and works to better them. nor is she pure of mind or heart: she understands very well that good must exist with evil and that those powers and influences must be kept within a safe distance from her heart; a heart whose days of starry-eyed wonder had long closed its lids; a heart so heavily guarded and shielded from yesterday's romantic gestures; a heart kept stored away for a man who may never materialize, and she is very prepared to deal with that reality. a real woman doesn't need to be rescued or saved or protected, she knows these gestures are nice and that it sure would feel good to feel it, but understands that it is not necessary for her survival.
i've met probably only two of these mystical women in my life, both times while i was in my late 20's. and in both instances, i felt very intimidated by them. yes, they were quite a different breed of woman: witty, sophisticated, full of strange knowledge and very much older than i was. but yet, the impact they'd had on my understanding of Life was far more substantial than every young, ditzy dollface combined.
a real man is comfortable with who he is(flaws and all) and will not settle for anything. He knows that there are no limits to what he can do . a real man is responsible for his own actions. a real man is not influenced he is an influence.
a real man has honor, integrity, loyal and stands for what he believes in. a real man is a husband to his wife and a father to his children. a real man knows that the word love is an action word and that any relationship takes work , sacrifice and self control.
a real man expresses his emotions when he needs too and excercises self control , admits when he is wrong and is humble when he is right. a real man is wise.a real man makes a real woman grow and bloom and exhorts her to be more than she is.
a real man is comfortable with who he is(flaws and all) and will not settle for anything. He knows that there are no limits to what he can do . a real man is responsible for his own actions. a real man is not influenced he is an influence.
a real man has honor, integrity, loyal and stands for what he believes in. a real man is a husband to his wife and a father to his children. a real man knows that the word love is an action word and that any relationship takes work , sacrifice and self control.
a real man expresses his emotions when he needs too and excercises self control , admits when he is wrong and is humble when he is right. a real man is wise.a real man makes a real woman grow and bloom and exhorts her to be more than she is.
I agree with all of this and I might also add that a real man knows how to laugh at himself and even if he is serious, does not take himself seriously.
A real man knows how to express his desire and knows how to make his woman desire him.
A real man has a social and political conscience and his actions are a reflection of that.
A real man can fiercely protect his loved ones but knows how to be gentle.
Oh and, a real man doesn't eat quiche!
EVERYTHING begins with a good de-pantsing! Sunny, June 20th '08
I wouldn't trust you to run a bath, let alone a fucking restaurant!!Gordon Ramsay, Kitchen Nightmares
To me ... a real man has an idea of who he is and knows that he's not perfect. A real man realizes others aren't as well and either accepts it or is the type that is willing to help others.
He's got his weaknesses and knows he's a work in progress. He's got his strengths and knows that is what he brings to the table.
A real man is willing to step up to the plate when needed to and ask for help from someone when required. He knows his past has molded him, the present is just temporary and the future is something to strive for. A real man knows that his pocketbook isn't his worth and his sexual conquests aren't his attractiveness. He's just like everyone else ... lost in this stupid world at times and hoping to find someone who will accept him, understand him, forgive him and laugh with him through all the fucked up things that happen to us. Just as she is hoping for the exact same thing.
Quote:
Love is a mindfield, you take a step and get blown to pieces, put yourself back together again and stupidly take another step. I guess thats human nature, it hurts so much to be alone that we'd all rather blow-up than be single.
~ Love & Sex
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars. ~ Khalil Gibran
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.~ Mahatma Ghandi
as i examine who i've become in my 30's, i'm beginning to notice my growing attraction to what some of my friends have referred to as a "real woman". i'd heard this term many times before, but as a young man it painted images of a well-put-together, all around balanced, beautiful, perfect and unblemished woman. but this was the naivete of a man who hadn't had enough life experience to understand and appreciate what a real woman is.
a real woman is not perfect. she is, in fact, in many ways flawed, but she recognizes these flaws, accepts them, attempts to understand them and works to better them. nor is she pure of mind or heart: she understands very well that good must exist with evil and that those powers and influences must be kept within a safe distance from her heart; a heart whose days of starry-eyed wonder had long closed its lids; a heart so heavily guarded and shielded from yesterday's romantic gestures; a heart kept stored away for a man who may never materialize, and she is very prepared to deal with that reality. a real woman doesn't need to be rescued or saved or protected, she knows these gestures are nice and that it sure would feel good to feel it, but understands that it is not necessary for her survival.
i've met probably only two of these mystical women in my life, both times while i was in my late 20's. and in both instances, i felt very intimidated by them. yes, they were quite a different breed of woman: witty, sophisticated, full of strange knowledge and very much older than i was. but yet, the impact they'd had on my understanding of Life was far more substantial than every young, ditzy dollface combined.
gentlemen, what is a real woman to you?
and ladies, what is a real man?
p.s. 28 and over only, please.
Great topic Risky!
I spend most of my twenties in pursuit of Imaginary Women. Women that from the outside appeared to reflect the pretend women I consumed in movies and TV and magazines. Perfect, oversexed, funny, charming, gorgeous partygirls. Women without bodily functions, who give blowjobs at the drop of a hat and had multiple orgasms every single time, with the looks and proportions of a Barbie Doll. At least that's the way it spun out in my mind.
Of course inevitably these women could not hold up to such a plasticized ideal and most of my relationships were inevitably over within three months. The Perfect Woman that existed in my mind could not possibly exist in real life. No woman can live up to that standard of glossy airbrushed perfection.
Admittedly, I could not possibly hold up the posturing and pretense that I created to attract and bed creatures such as this. I was as phony as the Dot-Com wave I was riding during that period of the shallow late-nineties.
Like a FairyTale story come to life, the stress, the lifestyle (and probably the recreational pharmaceuticals), inflicted upon me a Physical Deformity. I Crashed. I Burned.
I quit life.
I lived like a monk. I took up yoga and meditation. I spent up to a month in my pajamas, even when I went out into public.
Then I began to accept Real Women into my life. The Real Friends that I had emotionally abandoned when I began my Odyssey into the Wilderness and was too busy climbing up to Icarus' pinnacle.
In a six month span into the new millennium the Physical Deformity had completely healed, but in my mind I was still a Troll who was once a Handsome Prince.
Then My Real Girl showed up out of the Clear Blue.
I fell in love with her the first night that I saw her.
I was at the lowest point in my life. I was nearing the end of my twenties and given the self-destructive path I had chosen so long ago, I wasn't expecting that I would ever live to see my thirties.
She danced like no one else was watching her. She wasn't graceful and I would hardly call it seductive, but the fact that she did it with such Joi La Vie made it the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Her smile is the first crack of light at sunrise.
She makes me Laugh in the most unexpected ways. She is a Warm and Generous Soul. She walks the earth completely oblivious to her obvious beauty. She is a Passionate Lover. She Isn't-Perfect and we are very good at being Not-Perfect together. She is Braver and Smarter than she gives herself credit for. She knows me in ways that no one else does and loves me nonetheless. She is patient and forgiving. She puts her hand on me and with just her touch she is able to tell me how much she loves me. She is the best friend I have ever had.
Life has become the grandest of adventures that two people have ever shared.
She makes me Laugh in the most unexpected ways. She is a Warm and Generous Soul. She walks the earth completely oblivious to her obvious beauty. She is a Passionate Lover. She Isn't-Perfect and we are very good at being Not-Perfect together. She is Braver and Smarter than she gives herself credit for. She knows me in ways that no one else does and loves me nonetheless. She is patient and forgiving. She puts her hand on me and with just her touch she is able to tell me how much she loves me. She is the best friend I have ever had.
Life has become the grandest of adventures that two people have ever shared.
She's My Girl.
sam, excuse my french, but this comment was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!. it's so real that i can't get myself to question any of it. thank you for sharing it, brother.
you know, i've been really bent on this theory of mine that everyone must experience some sort of terrible tragedy in their lives to gain any real insight into Life; who they are; what people are really like; and what is and isn't important. i used to think everyone needed to get their heart-broken on a massive scale, but i later realized that it doesn't necessarily have to come from a relationship. it could be anything that sparks a deep and fundamental analysis of oneself. it's what i'd like to call "The Mother of All Introspection" whose children extend to all parts of the body and mind.
i believe sometimes one can arrive at this point alone, and other times we need a helping hand to act as a catalyst toward this strange rebirth into reality. i guess that's what being "real" means to me: shedding the layers of the imaginary and having the courage, the intellect and maturity to stare reality right in the eye and find one's Self.
Self-confidence, the way she carries herself, compassion and feminity. That is my kinda 'lady'.
No amount of boobs/ass/skanky outfit will do. I take those above anyday
i know exactly what you mean! all that physical stuff is great, but it really is the way a woman carries herself. i used to know a girl who most guys would probably label as "average". but the way she spoke, the way her mind worked, her clothing, her gait, etc... all those little things, when put together made her beautiful. the more time my friends and i spent with her, the more we became spellbound by her.
Sunny, June 20th '08
