When I was younger (21-24) and in a relationship, I was sooo completely happy being together 24/7. Now that I'm older and kinda figured out what makes me tick, I have come to the realization that I definitely need "me time" or a space to call my own.

Has anyone else discovered this about themselves? And especially for those in a relationship (marriage especially) - how do you handle it so that you don't hurt the significant other's feelings?

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars. ~ Khalil Gibran

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~ Mahatma Ghandi

...Well usually you grow apart ........together....LOL

Omgoodness, I think that it's worked reverse for me When I was younger there was only 1 relationship that I loved being under that boyfriend 24/7 and well it pissed him off. Maybe it was because I was a virgin and he was my first that I was so naive and clingy, but after that 3 year relationship ended I became sort of like him... always wanting and needing my space and then the guys being latchy and then me feeling nautious about all of the clingy attention until I would just call it quits!

Now with my husband it's new to me, because we both equally can't get enough of being up underneathe one another. We are literally like attached at the hip most of the time... It's a bit nauseating to anyone who knows us personally, but it's how it's been for the past 2 years and hasn't changed at all. With any other guy I would have gotten sick to my stomach and turned off by now...

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I think as we get older, and we learn more about what we want from our relationships, we realize that it's not so much the amount of time we spend with our partner that's neccesarily the most important, but the quality of time we spend with them.

Even couples that live together, I think generally need some time to themselves, be it through having seperate interest/hobbies, work or what have you.
Regardless of how much you love someone, IMO if your around each other TOO much, it can lead to alot of frayed nerves and picky, petty little arguments because those are the moments when you start to notice every little thing they do that you used to find cute, but now your willing to murder them over...or even little things that used to annoy you are now magnified 20 times, because in being together a majority of the time, you don't have those private moments to sit, think, count to ten and blow off some steam.

And plus, the romantic side of me believes that when you do take some time away from your partner to engage in some "me" time, it'll make the moments you can spend together all the more special, and your less likely to take them for granted.

As for how to tell your partner that you wish to have some "me" time, depending on what your relationship is like, I'd say there's nothing at all wrong with just telling them honestly that you'd like to go out, take a class, or start going to the gym, that you feel you need some time to rejuvenate yourself...

IMO, most people who know you well and care about you would understand that.

Everyone needs breathing space.
Partners shouldn't do everything together.
Besides, men and women have their own little things they like to do that the other one doesn't like to participate in.
I don't try to communicate everything to my partner, that's what girlfriends are for.
I leave room for a little mystery in the relationship so it doesn't go stale.

I think this is definitely true! Seriously, one of the things that made me the most nervous about moving up here was finally living with Thak, and the reason for that was because I had gotten so used to having so much space since we'd never lived closer than 1000 miles from one another for our entire relationship, that I didn't know how I'd handle having him around 24/7. I mean, we'd been married 5 months by that time, and as much as I loved him and wanted to finally get to be a real couple for a little while, I was nervous as hell about giving up my space.

Lucky for me, it worked out very well. It turns out that Thak is also one of those people who likes space to himself sometimes, and usually about the same amount of the time as me, so that's really great. The house we had when we first moved here had a big yard, and we tilled up a corner of it for our vegetable garden. Thak would go outside and work in the garden, and that's how we'd get our space from one another for a little while.

Now we live in a second story flat on post, so we don't have the big garden anymore, but when Thak either needs time to himself, or senses that I need alone time, he'll go downstairs and wash the cars or take the dog for a walk. If I need to get away, I go in our room and study by myself. He knows now that he should never disturb me when I'm doing school stuff, so that buys me time whenever I need it.

Of course now that I am back in school, I have lots of time to myself because of my long commute (at least an hour each way), and he's been working super long hours lately (like 14 hour days sometimes, but at least 12 hours every day) so when we're both home, we do want to be together. We have our lives outside of the marriage, and it's made our lives within the marriage so much better and more fulfilling. Space and individual interests are an absolute must.

He's worth it.

Just because you share your life with someone doens't mean you have to share every waking moment with them, LOL I totally feel you on this though Sushi...

I need "me" time and time out with just my girls. It's been easy for me though... I date social guys that want time to do their own things too. Though most of the guys I date seem to enjoy fixing computers while I'm taking a bath and reading a book, LOL Could this be why I like computer geeks?

It feels so GOOD to be so WRONG! Sometimes...