Anybody else find themselves kind of stuck between two very distinct groups of friends? Friends that you've had for years and years, since University or before that even.

At some point two camps started to form... the Proud Singles and the Smug Marrieds. It was more relaxed when we were in our twenties, but the divide in our thirties seem to be huge. Particularly when it starts to become a geographical divide as well between urban and suburban.

I'm very much an independant person, but at the same time in a 5 year LTR. I've got one foot in each camp and I'm able to see the pros and cons of both groups. I love my freedom, and I'm a textbook case of Peter Pan Syndrome, but I think I'm starting to feel the tug towards becoming a Grown Up and Settling Down.

Anyone else in this transitional state?

YES!!!! it's gotten so bad for me that i have several circles of friends...

• married friends
• single friends
• rich friends
• poor friends

but i must admit that my married friends are drifting farther and farther away from me, and although it makes me sad, i do find it to be understandable because we live in different worlds now: they have so little time to spare as well as time to develop as individuals since all their time is spent at work or with their children, and i am still developing; changing; learning because i've got all the time in the world.

there's a huge disconnect between us now, but i've learned to accept it as the course of life.

lately though, i find myself hanging out with YOUNG GUYS. like 24-26. it's weird 'cause i'm like GOD to them which does wonders for my ego but can be very draining as well.

it's time for you to settle down, old man. accept it with open-arms 'cause it is quite obvious to me(from what i've read) that you're very happy at this stage of your life. great post!

You know, I think this is kinda funny because when people talk about how their married friends are kinda drifting farther and farther away from them, I think about how I've been that married friend who has drifted. I remember back when I was still in Florida, I was the only married person in my group of friends. We were all about the same age, but let's face it, not many people get married at 22 anymore, so yeah, I was an anomoly, but since Thak was never around, it wasn't like my marriage was actually a true entity of my life. It was only the ring I wore, and the fact that I couldn't go after hot guys like my friends could. I found my role as match maker and hook up finder, though, and that was really fun!

Anyhow, ever since I moved up here and actually got to truely be married, I have noticed that I've kinda drifted away from my single friends. It's wierd because I really do like them. I would hang out with them any day of the week if I was local still, but just to call and talk and all that, it's not really that great anymore since we have less and less in common as time goes by.

I have finally made some married friends, and let me tell you, it is so great! Thak and I are definitely atypical for a military couple, and being that we do live on post, we don't meet a lot of people like us. We've been lucky lately, though, so now we do have some married friends, and I just find that we have so much more in common with them. Plus, they don't mind if we don't want to come hang out till midnight or go to clubs or whatever. It's cool.

You know what's kinda funny, though, is when your single friends get married, and you watch how they change. Some don't change at all. Others it's like night and day. My friend Diaz got married shortly after Thak came home from Iraq, and in just these past few months, he's gone from "Dirty D, the crazy partying infantryman" to "SGT Diaz, stepfather extrordinaire with husband capabilities." It's fucking amazing how much he's changed. It's cool, though, because even though I've always had the military in common with him, and we've always been great friends, this just makes it even better because now he's not the one wanting to stay out all night and get shit faced at any given opportunity.

It's still wierd, though, because it's just so different than before... Like the other night we were hanging out with our friends who live downstairs, and Diaz was there as well, and the girls were watching Dora the Explorer, and all the adults are singing the Dora song. I just looked around the room and started cracking up. I mean here we are, 2 Sergeants, 1 other soldier, and 1 hard-ass veteran, singing Dora the Explorer with out toddlers. My how things have changed... Seriously, I know why my single friends think I'm wierd now! It's true. LOL

He's worth it.

For me it's when the discussions around home renovation start to take over. And for some reason, this conversation topic will last the duration of the project... generally three months. I've had to endure an ongoing conversation about fixing the front steps with my best friend for three months last year. Most recently I've been stuck in a three month conversation with another buddy about bathroom renovation.

In my case, I just ran out of guy friends in the same situation I am in. We were joking only a few years ago about each throwing in $100 and the last guy to get married will get the pot (inspired by a movie). The one friend that Everyone claimed would be The Last Man Standing bought a house and proposed to his LTR about a month ago and has dissappeared into the land of home-ownership. I mean this is a guy who last year insisted that he might not ever marry her, and they had just hit the five year mark eight months prior to us. This means that I'd have been $600 richer (ah well, hindsight).

I've got exactly three single male friends now, two of whom never step up to bat, and the other one is going into dating overdrive. All the other male friends have become alien commuter entities living in the land of stripmalls and front lawns.

The single female friends have become Legion. I'm not sure what it is about the thirties that all of a sudden all the single guys seem to dry up. Whenever I find myself with a spare moment to go see a movie or go down the street to grab a drink or a bite to eat, it's the single gals that are the ones that are available without any notice. It's also funny how these Proud Singles can become Smug Marrieds within six months to a year of meeting a guy... biological clock at work.

Thanks Risky! We are very happy in our Status Quo, which is probably why I am a bit nervous to take The Next Big Step given the fact that we have a good thing going on in the Here and Now. I swear she has the patience of a Saint.

I think you've pretty much summed up the Two Worlds perfectly with your descriptions.

I do love playing wingman for my single friends still, both male and female, and I've always been a night-person. Of course I'm in love with a morning-person, which does make for interesting dynamics. Luckily we do manage to overlap in the late afternoon/early evenings.

I think kids are the biggest difference in the world. Many of my friend's and relative's kids have now reached an age of around 2-3 and you put a bunch of them into a room and it's instant entertainment.

It's much preferable than sitting around the dinner table or living room talking about home deco or gardening, which I just find excruciatingly painful.

My circles of friends change so frequently that's it's hard to keep up.
At one time I tried hard to stay attached, but then realized that it's life's way of bringing you into the company of people whom will influence your life, whether it be negatively or positive. And vice versa.
I just live in the moment and enjoy life with them as much as I can.

Oh gawd... the home renovation crap... that annoys me, too, since we aren't in the position to buy a house right now, and all I hear on the VERY rare occasion I talk to my sister is about how she and her husband bought ANOTHER house, and they've gotta do this that and the other thing to it, and "oh it's gonna be so nice..." blah blah blah.... this got especially bad in 2004 when everything was destroyed by the three hurricanes that hit us, and all I heard about for a good year after that was how much nicer it was all going to be than it was before the hurricanes came through. SOOOOOO annoying!!

You joke, but more often than not, we'd end up at Home Depot (or Canadian Tire)!

I'd stop by hoping we could shoot some hoops or play some video games... or even go out for a drink on a patio. Inevitably he'd still be trying to figure out how to get the concrete on the steps to set properly and the new male bonding ritual is talking to the friendly staff at Home Depot.

At the very least there usually is a Hot Dog cart or a Harvey's at Home Depot to justify the trip in my mind.

I mean I used to love the trips to the Future Shop, Bay Bloor Radio, or the Electronics Superstores along Kennedy out in Scarborough, when the major project was The Home Theatre down in the basement Man-Room, but that seems to be a thing of the past as they begin the nesting rituals for the rest of the house.