Hey, a question today came into my mind.
I remember when I was newly married, we two would go to our bank and the employer there suggested that we close one of our two accounts to have one common one.
He said we save money that way because we would only have to pay the fee for one accounts instead of two.
I still recall my reaction which was being puzzled and then saying: NO WAY!

At that time I for the first thought that every modern person just NEEDS an own account.
Also I thought it easier to use the own income more independently (we both worked) and I also knew that my hubby isn't too good in using money, so I thought if he messes with his account we still would have money on mine which he couldn't just spend for stuff we can't eat.

Oh well, when we got seperated I was happy to have done that, he would have cutten off my access to the common account in the first heat most likely. So I did right in this very case.

What do you all say? How is it common at your place, how do you personally see it?

At that time I was kinda flabbergasted that it seemed so common here because the bank employee was pretty surprised that I refused his offer.
But my thought was that every grown up person in this modern world needs an own account.

Thak and I have a joint account. It is essential because his military pay is deposited automatically in there, and that is our monthly income, and I have to be able to access that to pay bills and buy groceries. Also, when he is deployed, it is essential that I have full and unimpeded access to all money and assets we have as a married couple, and it is one hell of a lot easier to do that by having a joint bank account than it would be for me to have to worry about whether my Power of Attorney was up to date every time I went to the bank.

I don't think it's a bad thing to have one bank account. I mean, the only thing that kinda sucks is if he's in like Baghdad or somewhere else that's "buy cheap shit here" heaven, and he doesn't tell me how much he spent, and then, let's say I spend $100 on groceries as opposed to the usual $75, then we have overdraft fees, and I wonder what the fuck happened... Of course, that was only an issue when he was in places like Baghdad, which only accounted for less than a month of the last tour. For the remainder, he was in a place that was so remote I had to ship him soap and toothpaste because there was no place to buy ANYTHING, so we didn't have any issues with the bank account.

I don't know why some people insist on keeping separate bank accounts. I think as long as financial decisions are handled together, money can be housed together as well. It's simpler that way for us.

He's worth it.

Three?
Totally new idea now.
But the joint thingy we just solved with everyone being responsible for several bills (me the energy, he the telephone or something like that) and that was a fair share too.
And we split (oh well, intended to split) the grocery bills and stuff.

In the end I got pretty screwed though ... gotta pick my spouse wiser next time, I know, I know ...

For SGs model people have to be similar in their spending habits and very reliable I think, but it's nicer somehow, even though I wouldn't do it that way.
Here we can grant each other access to the account of the other person if we want to (but I didn't do that, neither did he).

I have to agree here, TB, I will insist in an own account, even if I really love and trust my next spouse.
It's just being pragmatic in my book, but you are also right that people show a totally different face when things turn sour and pull unexpected revenges on the other sometimes.
I know this from own experience and what could be a better advisor than that ...

I think I spare you the bullshit stunts my ex pulled on me in his last desperation ... let's just say I was and will always be pragmatic and have a rest of suspicion, for GOOD reasons.
And I still pat my own shoulder proudly for keeping my own account, OMG, that would have been just BIG TROUBLE!
(The prick even managed to get hold of some of my mums money without me knowing it, she is far more trusting than me, any further questions?)

The situations you're talking about are completely different from mine and Thak's. For one, Thak is a Sergeant in the US Army, not a millionaire. It's not like we have a lot of assets, and even if he walked out on me tomorrow and took all the money with him (yeah... since payday is a week away, use your imagination as to how much that ISN'T) it would not be some huge loss I would never come back from. Actually, considering that my grants from school still come only in my name, and Erin and I lived on that much before I married Thak, it's not like I'd be any further up the creek than I've ever been if the shit hit the fan at this point.

The other thing common to the situations you've discribed is that those women didn't work. They were rich housewives. I am a physics and engineering student. Obviously, I do not plan to just let my degrees be wall art for the rest of my life. My income will be probably more than Thak's in the end, so I'm really not worried about losing my ass if he decides to run off for whatever reason (which I don't see him doing, but I never say never...)

Oh, and the other thing is that I'm not just an authorized user on an account in Thak's name. Our's is a joint account, in which neither of us can take actions on it without the other's signature or power of attorney (Which is how I do things when necessary when he is deployed.)

I also know that he would be really hurt if I decided I wanted to keep separate accounts. It would show mistrust, and it's taken a really long time for me to win his trust fully, and after two years of marriage, I've done that, and I'm not going to wreck it by just being a paranoid person, and saying "hey guess what, Thak! We have no money, but I want to keep separate bank accounts now. I want to be covered if you decide to leave me." He would be disgusted if I brought that up. I know him that well.

SG, this is not a criticism on your personal life, do whatever works for you.
Your opinion is sound too, even though I don't do it like that.

I personally wasn't a millionaire, I worked by myself, he too ... and I still got screwed big time by the person I trusted. But that's another life, so don't compare your opinion about it with mine or TBs, people are just different, that's it.

Only one thing, if a man makes it a trust issue when I want my own account, and be it for storing my pocket money when he is the main bread winner, that would make me wonder ... it's just normal for me personally, nothing else.

Most of the couples I know who are my age have the three account system.

Once the basics and essentials like mortgage, food, expenses etc are covered in the Joint account, "his" money and "her" money generally makes things easier when it comes to the luxeries and how each of them wants to spend their own money. It's usually a bit more fluid than that, but that is the general principle. You would do two tax returns as well I'd imagine.

I think it's pretty common in this day and age of two income families.