I don't know if it's more indicative of my friends, but one thing that I have noticed is that there are quite a few stay at home dads. The reasons usually come down to two flavours...

Freelance/Work-at-home/Consultants. They are home anyways and have a certain degree of flexibility that allows them to shift their shedules around the kids (particularly once they start pre-school/kindergarten).

Fathers who have better benefit packages than their spouses. I've been noticing that there are couples these days that play the numbers game as the deciding factor in deciding which one stays home. This may be dependant on any number of factors, including what kind of "top up" they get, or whomever has the higher salary. In the case of a few stay-at-home dads I know, it's because they have government jobs or very good union jobs (such as for an auto plant), or that their wife is the higher earner.

Does anyone else notice a similar trend amongst the couples you know?

One of my dad's best friends is a stay at home dad, but he's a farmer whereas his wife is a nurse, so it made sense to do it like that since he is his own boss, and could schedule his days around the needs of their daughter, whereas his wife did not have that flexibility.

Thak and I are considering him staying at home for a while when he gets out of the Army. This would allow us to have another baby like we want to, and I would not lose out on as much research time if he took off to stay home with the baby. Plus, I'll be farther along in my schooling by then than he will, so it will be absolutely important for me to continue my research immediately after the birth of the baby. It will also be beneficial since the graduate program I'm most likely going into will have me working in an international laboratory in Geneva Switzerland several months out of the year. If Thak has no obligations outside the home, I can take him and the kids with me. Or if I didn't take them with me because Erin's school schedule wouldn't allow, or whatever, at least he'd be able to really be there for the kids while mommy is in Geneva, slamming particles into one another in the most badass particle accelerator in the world. However, I digress...

Yes, there absolutely is a trend toward stay at home dads, and I think that's great! I say, gender shouldn't be what determines who stays home with the kids. It should be determined by who would be profesionally harmed less by taking the time off from the workforce to be at home. I'm glad it is becoming more and more acceptable for guys to stay home.

He's worth it.

Whoa, whenever you come to geneva, SG, let me know, I come to see you there if I can and you like to!
Oh, sidetracked ...

In my personal friends circle the stay at home dads aren't yet so common, but it's coming.
If a man stays at home here it is mainly income related, like you said.
I think that development really great and am happy that more and more men dare this without fearing to appear unmanly.
My best friend shows me clearly that dads can be as talented in caring for kids as women if they only have the interest, he and his little daughter are sooooo cute together. He and his wife both work but at different times, so they share the household and childcaring too, in a fair way.
That is one of the cooler aspects of the modern world, don't you think?

Lieber stehend sterben als kniend leben!


http://www.flickr.com/photos/lalense/

Yeah, one of my friends also did for a while what your friend does, working different hours from his wife so they can both care for the kids. It was really hard on him, though, because he had to work three jobs (4 if you count the National Guard) so it's better now that he went Active Duty and his wife no longer works at all, and he only works the one job. The whole both working at different times, I think works best if both parents are professionals (for example, one is a professor and one is a nurse. Those are both fields which have widely varying hours available.) In my friend's case, no good companies would hire him because he was in the National Guard and it was hurricane season and he was always getting activated for that, so he was a janitor at two hotels, and worked at one gas station, and his wife... well, she was a police officer before, but the department in the town where they were living wouldn't hire her, so she ended up working at McDonald's. It sucked really bad. It is better for them now that he is in the Army full time.


Oh, and of course I will let you and everyone else know when I am coming to Geneva! It would be fun to have a Europe meet up!!

You're right, that is another childcare model as well! Now that their daughter is old enough to go to daycare, one couple I know basically split the day.

Mommy takes the morning shift with her and then goes to work in the afternoon and drops her off at daycare. Dad is off in the late afternoon/early evening and picks her up from daycare on the way home. Mom comes home at around 11:00 and they get a couple of hours of Grown-Up time.


I also know another couple where it came down to the fact that he was a fulltime employee of the local level goverment, and she was on contract. He was all set to be the stay at home, when they decided she was too valuable to lose and they made her fulltime just prior to her brief unpaid mat leave. Provincial has better benefits than Regional, so she ended up taking the year off, although he also took three months.