We all encounter infatuations in our lives, and sometimes can become the recipients of very flattering attention.

So for those of you who are in a long term relationship and have been for a while, how do you handle things when the inevitable temptation comes around in the form of another man/woman who is not your spouse?

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You have to look at it this way, do you really want that person enough to screw up what you already have?

If the answer is yes, you should not be in that relationship.

If the answer is no, then you distance yourself from the situation.

I don't necessarily mean as in physical distance, but if it comes to that, then sure. But mostly you have to stop the innappropriate conversations and actions in their tracks and make it known they are not welcome. And be firm in that, because not everyone gets it -- or wants to get it for that matter.

A real man knows, that the most important thing in life is being here, next to his girlfriend and knowing that there is no greater feeling than being right here. Knowing she loves him as much as you love me. This is why I choose you. I choose you forever.

~Mr. Zero

Well if they are worth it, they'll notice. The ones that aren't will be too busy paddling through their own drool over the latest crop of brainless twits that have surfaced and aren't worth the effort.

I keep myself out of situations which could have unfavorable results. I only see the person in question in large groups, and never drink alcohol anywhere near them. Believe me, I have a list half a mile long of things which I avoid as a matter of routine the years Thak is gone...

He's worth it.

I'm right with SG... I keep myself out of any potential situation. If there is a friendly exchange somewhere and I find it getting friendlier than necessary I will distance myself and possibly cut the person off out of respect for my man!

We are all human beings, and I understand that these things are inevitable even if we don't want to at times admit to it, but that is why it's best to keep yourself out of potential situations and as soon as you notice something "changing". Just catch yourself and back away!!!

[URL="http://www.myspace.com/energistlight"][/URL]

purrrfectly said SG, NS & MM

I find that if I'm feeling temptation it's a sign that something is wrong with or missing in my relationship, not necessarily that I've met a better man. I avoid that person while I think, and contemplate my feelings and options. In the end I discuss with my man what I feel my issues are and we either end the relationship or we fix/work on the problem. Heal the disease, not the symptoms. But I can't stay with a man I have a desire to cheat on. I've never cheated and I never will.

It feels so GOOD to be so WRONG! Sometimes...

I do believe that it can be normal to "notice" an attractive member of the opposite sex when your in a committed relationship with someone else, and we ALL have the occasional sexual "thought" about someone other than our partner...but thoughts and deeds are two different things...

I agree with the other ladies who've stated that they'd remove themselves from the situation, if they found themselves strongly tempted to act on the thoughts for someone other than their partner.

I do think that LL touched upon a very good point tho', that on occasion the temptation of being with someone else can stem from something you feel is missing from the relationship your in, ie- maybe you feel your partner isn't paying attention as much attention to you as he/she used too and you've met someone atm who seems really interested in you and your likes/dislikes/hobbies/thoughts/dreams, etc...and in a situation such as that, I fully would suggest having a good heart to heart talk with your partner and discussing how you feel, and seeing if things can be worked on...if there's genuine love and respect there and a good sense of what compromise really means, then IMO most things can usually be worked out...communication is soooooooooooooo important. (that's a huge understatement)

If after plenty of introspection, a person still feels strongly for someone other than their partner, even in a sexual sense and doesn't feel that they can resist, or remove themselves from the situation with the other person (such as to avoid the temptation), then yeah, it's probably best for them to end their current relationship.

There's really no justification in my mind for staying with someone that you just can't or won't be faithful to...

As I head for the door, I turn around to be sure
Did I shave my legs for this?

I'm just fascinated by the fact that the only male to respond to this thread seems better equipped at answering questions about digital cameras!