Did you know? The best source for Asian jokes are Asians.

Takeaways
But being Asian American is slightly different. There is no major plight like slavery, or harsh, day-labor fieldwork that comes with our culture. Asian Americans have made significant contributions to American society and growth, but our story here is basically that of immigration in search of a better life.
The most common abuse you go through as an Asian American is when you're a kid. Your peers are relentlessly harsh in general, much less towards a minority figure they know nothing about. The most common ridicule Asian American kids go through, is having other children say random things like "chong ching bong bing" and then turning to you and asking, "what did I say[in your language]?" At least for me it was.

The other "suffrage" Asian American children go through, is exposing Asian heritage and culture to non-Asian friends. I remember when I was younger, having a caucasian school-friend over to my house to play. The first thing he asked upon entering was "what is that smell?" I didn't smell anything, so my response was "what smell?" He explained to me that he smelled something weird and I didn't realize until later in life that the smells of Asian foods are a lot different than American foods, especially if you haven't been exposed to them often.

Other cultural differences that illicit a look of confusion from non-Asian peers are things like home furnishings, room decor, and the typical Asian staple- taking your shoes off when entering a home. I remember when I was younger, a friend and I walked into my house just having the casual conversation of young children. Our conversation ended abruptly upon hearing the screams of my mother. I looked up to hear what she was saying and realized she was freaking out because my non-Asian friend was still wearing his shoes. Taking your shoes off in an Asian American home is a big rule.

Room decor and home furnishings can appear a little "different" to non-Asians, because Asian culture has a lot of frilly art-type things that most families hang on their walls, as well as vases and chinaware depicting either Asian scripture or pictures of traditional Asians. Most families place them in their home to remind and show appreciation for their ethnic ancestry. Family and familial lineage is a big part of Asian culture, right up there with taking your shoes off in the house.

As you get older, you go through a transgression that really isn't fair to Asian American teenagers. At some point in your teenage life, you make a choice- either conscious or not, about whom your peers are going to be. It isn't fair, but those Asian-Americans who choose to "assimilate" and befriend mostly non-Asian peers are usually deemed "sellouts," ostracized by Asian groups as not being true to their skin. I suppose it's the same for all minority groups, but for Asian Americans it can be more stringent, because Asian Americans tend to have a feeling of being forgotten or neglected, as mentioned above, and adopt a mentality of "we should be in this together."

As an Asian American, if you choose not to adopt non-Asian peers, you become what most Asian Americans become: an Asian American who only associates with other Asian Americans. It's easier and comfortable for most Asian Americans to adopt ethnically similar friends, because you don't have to go through the explaining or embarrassment of exposing your culture onto someone who's never seen anything like it or might not understand it. It's a dangerous crossroad for an Asian American to have to make a decision about, because once you start down one of the chosen paths, you are almost doomed to be part of one group or the other for the rest of your life.

For example, it's difficult for an Asian American who has only Asian American friends to develop lasting friendships with other ethnicities. Why? Firstly, because once you have a group of strictly Asian American friends, it can be awkward to introduce someone of a different ethnicity into the group. Not only might the "different" individual feel uncomfortable, it could make the rest of the group uncomfortable to either try and overcompensate to make them feel comfortable, or not make an issue out of it and risk having him or her feel left out when referring to ethnically "inside jokes."

Most Asian Americans I know want to have ethnically diverse friends, but in American society, when a group of Asians are seen hanging out together, they're not typically thought of as approachable. They're usually considered to be "in and of their own" and most people think that's the way they want it. That's not necessarily true. Part of the reason Asian Americans befriend other Asian Americans is, like mentioned earlier, because of the comfort of familiarity. The other part is because we as Asian Americans are forced to because of our alienation from other social groups, whether intentional or not. User-generated content powered by Associated Content | Publish your own Content |

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow is all I gotta say to this. She really does love AM's - http://proaznisalyingwh0re.blogspot.com/

the chick in that photo is hot. Is she asian? Bcoz she has big eyes and big tits which threw me. I thought she was south american/white or something

ps nice shirts

who is the author of this article?

that last paragraph sums it up. i've had to resort to having different circles of friends because of the differences. but it wasn't exclusively because of ethnic and cultural differences. some deal with industry differences, as well as differences in the dynamics of the friendships i have with certain people. but overall i agree, at least from my perspective, that Asians generally want to assimulate, but truth be said, the older i get the more i realize that most friendships are born out of convenience.

But doesn't everyone pretty much have various circles of friends, whether that's based on culture or not? I know Thak and I do. We don't have too many Asian friends, though. That's only because there's not too many Asians who are in the Army, and those who are, many times are officers, and with Thak being a Sergeant, that won't work. On the rare occasion he does meet other Asian soldiers, about half the time, they're HUGE sell-outs. I don't mean just that they've assimilated into society, and can socialize with anyone. I mean they literally consider themselves white, and think Thak is fucked up for considering himself Thai even though he could legitimately claim his white side over it. Occasionally, he meets cool ones who are assimilated, like him, but are still proud to be Asian, and they get along great. There's one in his company right now, actually. I thought that was really cool.

I believe it's hard to grow up Asian American. Thak doesn't talk about it too much... only that all his friends had a crush on his mom, and that he and his brother were the only non-white kids in their school. Of course there was racism.

I wonder, to a lesser extent, what my kids will deal with in this regard. No, they're not fully Thai, but our home is very much an Asian home. When my friends or customers come over, they're always looking all around because they've never seen a lot of the stuff we have before. Of course, I'm a total shoe nazi, too. I figure, be consistent. Thak's going to enforce it when he comes home, I should enforce it while he's gone. I wonder if people think I'm wierd for this. Although, I don't really care. I knew I gave up my white card when I married him. The kids, though... I wonder what they'll think of all this, especially after we leave the Army, and are back in the (far less diverse) civilian world.

He's worth it.

I discovered/forgotten/lurked/rediscovered this site and just wanted to say this is a great little article. The part about choosing your two paths was very touching. I've "sold out" largely due to demographics (Not too many Asians in Reno) and it was huge culture change moving to Ca for college and now being back here.

Whoever wrote this article is a very good writer. Being asian in a western society can have its challenges. One's self identity will at many points be questioned after the trials and tribulations of social interaction and dynamics.

Vman, it's not only social interaction and dynamics. It's also the media thing too: television shows, television news, newspapers, magazines, books, novels and religion. There's not much acceptance in white society. Unless you happen to be a female PoC.

I can relate very well to this article because I remember having a really hard time fitting in with other kids when I was growing up as a boy in the suburbs of NYC. Growing up as an Asian kid in America definitely had its challenges. I live in Vancouver, Canada now and can say that Asians are generally more accepted here because Canada is much more open to other cultures and traditions than in the states. Asian cultures are treated with more respect and tolerance up here. However, things are not totally peachy up here in the great white north either. I believe that Asian Canadians are struggling to identify themselves in main stream society just like our neighbors to the south. It is a hard and difficult process, but I believe that things are gradually getting better.

I can relate to a lot of stuff said in this article.

Esp. the social circle thing I've always wondered about: how to juggle non-A