Quote:
Originally Posted by 3DSumoWrestler
So I'm lazy and didn't read through all the pages in this thread, so sorry if I'm bringing up old stuff.
I'm actually really surprised there aren't more BF/AM couples walking around. From what I've seen and experienced, there's a LOT of BFs into AMs these days and they're often less shy to let you know.
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The problem isn't the women. The problem is in the men. The MAN is supposed to initiate the courtship deal. The MAN asks the woman out. The MAN should already know what signals a woman's interest, and even if there is no signal, the MAN makes the approach anyway.
The problem is so few men are willing to step up to be MEN.
And I'm going to say some imflammatory $h!t here, but, I'm going to make some points. I think it's a mix of class, race, and the way the men were brought up issues. I've noticed, at least where I grew up in the Philadelphia area, that the "lower" class asians, ie. vietnamese, laotian, cambodian, and some filipino, they've grown up among black, puerto rican, mexican, and latino groups. So it isn't hard to find a viet/lao/cambodian guy with a black/puerto rican/latin woman. If you ever visit the library in Camden City, New Jersey, you'll find it's filled predominantly with black american, spanish, and vietnamese language literature. I've already met my share of vietnamese male/latin female with kids, philipino male/black female married planning kids, etc. Course, they do marry within their own ethnic groups as well, predominantly, like anywhere else, but in general, when the families live with other race/ethnic families, they're going to become accustomed to each other.
Now, on the other hand, the chinese, korean, indian, and japanese groups, more often than not, comprise the upper middle class. They're literally in a whitewashed group. On TOP of that, and this is what I've noticed personally, the men, from the time they're kids till college, get catered to a LOT by their mothers. They're not used to having to fend for themselves, the emphasis is heavy on academics, and they're a lot more cliquish. That's the general trend I've noticed. A lot of them tend to stay in a box, whether it's in career choice, to dating.
If you ever hang out on South Street, Philadelphia, go on a weekend when the University of Pennsylvania starts classes, and you'll see HUGE groups of asians walking down the street. And it's ALL asian... very cliquey. Course, sometimes I've found it hilarious that I'd be sitting in a cafe with a black friend, getting touchy feely with a date who isn't of my "race", and these groups tend to stare. But then again, there are a significant number of asian men at least, I've noticed in the Philadelphia area who marry out. Or maybe that because I'm tuned to that, that I'll notice it.
And of course you've got the PC guys who don't want to admit their true feelings, and instead you hear a litany of excuses.
But, case in point, that's the battle that the Sisters are dealing with here. I'd say, if you really want to hammer it out, to head in for the long haul with an asian guy, demand to meet the parents on the FIRST date, or soon. I'm serious. You might as well get that out of the way, especially if you don't want to be played with. My ex did that to me on our first date. She brought along her mother.
Make it a "getting to know you and your folks for dinner." kind of deal. Because the SOONER you can introduce him to the concept that his parents are going to get to know you, the better. Ask them if you can cook with the mother, they love that even more. Cause you have to remember, and again, this is what I've seen with asian guys in general (not overall), is that a lot of them are like italian men. They're momma's boys.
You know what? I'm gonna start off the thread to a new tack. What do the asian male admirers of black women here know about black american culture? Because it seems a LOT of the black women here know quite a bit about asian culture. I'll start with my favorites.
The Boondocks, by the genius, Aaron McGruder
The understanding of the constitution by the Black Panthers, on the freedom and rights of americans to bear arms.
Perhaps the best way to cross the bridges and cultural issues, is for at least SOME interest on the part of the men to understand the black american culture. Because there's a LOT of culture here, that's for certain. My other personal examples, while not black american, which are afro brazilian based, is capoeira, as an example. Come on gentlemen, start ranting. It's all about mutual interest.
Mr January Happy New Year!!!
