We’ve all been there haven’t we, fellas? You like a girl, you think she’s keen too, but you’re unsure of how to approach the subject and you end up saying nothing. It’s a common scenario that too many young men are finding themselves in when trying to court the fairer sex. We try to over analyse the situation and this only leads to more procrastination. So What Do You Do?
Stop being a wimp, and start being a man! The beauty of being a man is that we act without first thinking of the consequences. Our greatest weakness is also our greatest strength! Using this mentality, we can break free from the shackles of this dating minefield and instead of thinking about asking women out, we can actually ask women out! But What If She Says No?
So what if she says no!? Men’s men should have skin thicker than rhino hide. To use another animal analogy, it should be like water off a ducks back. Dating is nothing more than a numbers game. Of course you’re going to get shot down from time to time, but you need to get back on the horse and try again (there I go with the animal analogies again!).
Having the confidence to stroll up to a girl in a bar, not caring whether she lets you buy her a drink or not, instantly makes you more calm and assured. Believe it or not, women can sense that and let me tell you now – they find it an incredible turn-on! Overcoming Your Dating Fears
It’s okay me telling you to just overcome your fears, but you need to know how to overcome those fears. I’m going to give you the three practical exercises that I found helped me most when I was a shy young man who found it very difficult to speak to women. Using these techniques, I have been able to overcome my fears of approaching random strangers and become a man’s man!
Learn how to talk to strangers in the street. Asking someone in the street what the time is could quite possibly be the easiest way ever to talk to a stranger. If they haven’t got a watch, you say thanks anyway and move on to someone else. Once you’ve asked a few people and you’re now fairly certain you know the time you can start to get a little more brave. Make a casual comment about the weather. If they respond, you can take it further and actually have a conversation with them. Another great way to talk to people is when you’re buying something from a store. Make passing comments while you’re being served. I’m forever telling the people that serve me about my day and what I’m doing next. Once you’re confident at talking to people in the street at this level, you wouldn’t believe how much easier it is to talk to them in pubs and clubs.
Practice on women you don’t find attractive. Men are not uncomfortable around women they don’t find attractive. Once you’re confident enough to talk to people in the street, move on to the pubs and clubs. Talking to strangers you’re not attracted to is incredibly easy. In fact, I’d say it’s no different to speaking to someone in the street. Socialising usually means meeting up with friends of friends and you get introduced to a lot of nice people who you’re not into. This makes it a perfect opportunity to ask them about their interests, their work and their favourite things. The experience of just talking to more women in a social setting is a massive step towards total self confidence.
Actually try to get rejected. Once you’re ready to start talking to women you actually find attractive, here is an amazing tip that can overcome all of your fears. Make getting rejected appear to be a success. Set out to get rejected by 10 women you find attractive the next time you go out. After you face your fear, you’ll find that it’s not actually as bad as you think. When you expect to be rejected, you’re not going to be disappointed. As your fears begin to subside, you’ll even be rewarded with the occasional “yes”.
My advice to you is to go out there and start talking to people today. Once you find yourself talking to strangers with no embarrassment or fear, you’ll find it extremely liberating. I’d love to hear some success stories from your experiences of talking to strangers so, please, post a comment and tell us who you spoke to, what was said, and what the outcome was.
12-13-2008, 12:16 PM
| Posts: 10,523 | Location: America, Fuck Yeah! | Join Date: Aug 2006 |
China Doll
status is: looking forward to living
in sin soon.
i think the reason most men fear asking/talking to a women is rejection. sure it may hurt your ego a little bit, but if you are confident, then you should realize that its HER. you are someone cool, someone that has his choice in women, she was lucky to be talking to YOU! this is the mindset most men need. think about the worst thing that ever happend when you got rejected...nothing. the worse is that she can just walk away..or spill her drink on you if you said something rude..but other than that, its usually a kind no or something of the like...
the other reason dont ask women out is rejection and the embarrassment that follows, but let me tell you something (from a guy who gets rejected by alot of women) NO ONE around you notices or cares! just know that youre better than the guy next to you because he wanted to talk to her as much as you did, but at least you had the cajones to DO IT!
so my suggestion is to genuinely socialize with strangers, both men and women. socialize with women, attractive and unattractive. this will build your conversational skills and this will eliminate any fears you have about approaching the opposite sex because you've already "practiced" this daily. believe me, it works...
12-14-2008, 05:47 PM
| Posts: 18 | Location: Sacramento, USA | Join Date: Jun 2008 |
HuiChunHo
surfing AZNLover.com
Wait, I agree with this article. But, I'm a little confused. Men don't always approach ME...what should I think of that? And I know that I am not very attractive to most, soooo....help!
12-15-2008, 08:04 AM
| Posts: 642 | Location: cloud cuckooland | Join Date: Oct 2008 |
lovestruck7
status is: cuddling up with blanky
I tell some of the people I help with chick anxiety to do this. If they won't, I'll just drag them along and show them how it's done. Generally, I make fun of the girls. Even the hottest girl in the world has some sort of insecurity about their physical appearance. So I pick it out and tell them about it. They get kinda unsettled, I get a laugh and these guys see that even the hottest chicks are as weak as they are.
What a real low nasty thing to do, you're just teaching them to be jerks
12-15-2008, 09:36 AM
| Posts: 11,187 | Location: w. Ratbert, Toronto | Join Date: May 2006 |
Nordic
status is: hmm
I tell some of the people I help with chick anxiety to do this. If they won't, I'll just drag them along and show them how it's done. Generally, I make fun of the girls. Even the hottest girl in the world has some sort of insecurity about their physical appearance. So I pick it out and tell them about it. They get kinda unsettled, I get a laugh and these guys see that even the hottest chicks are as weak as they are.
You are such an asshole! How dare you go around and be mean to women?! You teach guys to hate women!
...and the next time she sees an Asian guy, she throws up in her mouth and chooses a white guy. Double-lose situation
Yea instead of cutting the girl down to a level you may be more comfortable with, why not try and bring yourself up to her level. Of course it takes more time and effort but the rewards are huge. Where once you may have thought a large percentage of hawties would've been out of your league, there will be a day when they will think that of you! There's no short cuts. You've got to pay the dues.
12-15-2008, 11:35 AM
| Posts: 664 | Location: USA | Join Date: Nov 2008 |
Kimosabe
status is: mess with fire and ya
gonna get burnt~
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And I know that I am not very attractive to most, soooo....help! 
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