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AznLover United KingdomDiscussions about living, working, studying, visiting, or playing in the United Kingdom.
The following was sent to me by a real good friend of mine. And im glad ive seen it.
Wouldnt you just like to have sent something similar?
Enjoy..
Subject: Passport Application
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.
How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time..
Do you people do this by hand?
You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!
I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.
Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...
Oh its a pain in the arse indeed ! Especially with all the new regulations your photos have to comply to ! Try getting a 7 week old baby to look straight ahead have the eyes at the right stop dont smile - have no shadows on a greyish beighish off white background and its a definate no-no if you get your hands or arms or any part of you in the picture trying to prop said baby up!! oh the joys - and as if shes gonna be recognisble from that in even a year - far or less the five that a childrens passport lasts for !! But you still need to get a person in 'authority' to sign the damn photo saying it is who you say they are 7 weeks old !!!
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing - Socrates
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such...
About figging :
[minerva] 3:33 am: eww you dont eat the ginger after do you kguy ?
[kguy] 3:33 am: its a desssert
Oh its a pain in the arse indeed ! Especially with all the new regulations your photos have to comply to ! Try getting a 7 week old baby to look straight ahead have the eyes at the right stop dont smile - have no shadows on a greyish beighish off white background and its a definate no-no if you get your hands or arms or any part of you in the picture trying to prop said baby up!! oh the joys - and as if shes gonna be recognisble from that in even a year - far or less the five that a childrens passport lasts for !! But you still need to get a person in 'authority' to sign the damn photo saying it is who you say they are 7 weeks old !!!
*pokes minny in the ear* What's all this talk of a 7 week old something to share??????
I had to take my photo again because there was a slight glare from my glasses and another time they didn't approve of my zoolander pose.
A vegetarian who eats fish is like a pacifist who occasionally punches a small child in the face!
Wow - sounds like such a joy ... NOT!! Thankfully, I haven't had that much trouble renewing my Canadian passport. Looking forward to changing my Health card to the photo one .... NOT!! There's a crapload of stuff you have to show for it. Ironically, I had been told for years when the new photo ids came out, to keep my old one because it's better and now they want everyone to change to this version. I'm pretty darned reluctant to do so. Sigh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by minerva
Actually she's 8 weeks old now !
Congrats!! Soooo, when do we get to see non-passport photos??
