Freshmen Year Again?

My freshmen year in college I didn't live in the residence halls. I tried, but there were more incoming students than rooms, so many of us ended up being put some where else because the university had to provide us with housing since we applied for it. I ended up in an apartment complex not far from campus. Four bedrooms, each with it's own bathroom, living room, kitchen, full size washer and dryer, and fully furnished. Two people per room. Sounds like a relatively good set up.

Too bad I had one of those experiences. You know, the ones where you look back and, with a little regret, think "why me?"

There were four Latina/Chicana girls, and four Blacks (2 were of African decent, by that I mean there parents are from Africa). They put the four Blacks on one side, and the others on the opposite side - the kitchen and living room was in the middle. The Latina/Chicana girls did NOT talk to us. They didn't even introduce themselves to us when they moved in. I didn't even KNOW 3 of them had moved in.

I found out a strange way. I asked one of the girls who I had seen moved in to go with my roommate and I to an event organized by housing services. She declined, saying she was going to go later with friends. So we leave without her. Five minutes later, she comes down with a bunch of Latina/Chicana girls. Funny, I thought later meant like...20 minutes instead of 5. So the event ends and we head back to the apartment. We ride in the elevator with my housemate and her friends. They end up exiting first and going the same way we're going. Then they let themselves into my apartment.

It was so very awkward.

They were surprised to see us, we were surprised to see them. It was basically the beginning of the end. I was really annoyed with the girl I asked. She could have told me she was going with the other housemates, but she purposely excluded us. From that point on, we didn't attempt to socialize with each other. I realized later that the main reason, if not the only reason, they didn't associate with us was because we weren't Chicana/Latina/Spanish speakers.

Think I'm lying? I saw the same girl I asked go up to a perfect stranger, ask her if she spoke Spanish, and carried on an entire conversation. I knew exactly what she said. I had taken Spanish for four years, and had placed in to college level Spanish 5 after I took the assessment. I knew my Spanish. Only when the same girl realized I was in Spanish 6 (a whole 3 months after living with me), did she attempt to make friends with me. By then the damage was already done.

What does this after to do with today?

Yesterday I went with my friend Tran to her brother's house warming party. I've known her for 5 years now, and everyone in her family knows me so it wasn't exactly out of place for me to be there. The atmosphere threw me off though. All of her brother's friends were Vietnamese, like him. So through all the merriment, all I heard was Vietnamese. This wouldn't normally bother me, but I couldn't help but be reminded of freshmen year. All these people, and the house was very crowded, and I was the ONLY non-Vietnamese person.

You'd think there were only Vietnamese people in the world, the way these folks act.

This is the sort of thing that really grates on my nerves. The world is a diverse place. You have to interact with people of all races eventually in life, if not every day. Why then only surround yourself with people who are like you? What kind of experience are you going to gain if you are only comfortable with speaking/associating with people of your own race? I understand that this is a matter of comfort for most people, but most times I think it goes to far.

Some guy asked me if I had been in this type of environment before. I think he meant if I had ever been around that many rowdy, drunk Asians before, seeing as how I was Black and was probably only used to rowdy, drunk Blacks. I cooly informed him that I had lived in Japan for 4 1/2 months so nothing I saw was new. Not to mention the majority of my friends are Asian. God for bid the Black girl be comfortable around a bunch of Asians.

Tran also told me that her sister, who was there, didn't believe her when told I like/date Asian guys. "Asian guys don't like Black girls," her sister had said. I wanted to roll my eyes. Knowing what little I know about her sister, and judging her typical smug/superior attitude, I couldn't help but be annoyed.

It's this kind of ridiculous attitude, and the environment, that leaves me very frustrated. The fact that many people actually believe her statement to be universally true is even more annoying. I disagree with it completely. I think 5% of Asian men honestly do not like/date Black women. 15% of them actually do. The remaining 80% are interested, but would never go down this road because they're expected/told to like/date/marry Asian (or White) women.

How could you if everyone you know is Asian and only knows Asian people? This group of friends, the family, they expect you to be exactly like them and date/marry Asian people. Anything else would be awkward or unacceptable. Just trying to conform. I got confirmation of this from a guy I met at a club and mentioned in a previous blog:
All his friends were Asians, his friends only dated Asians, so thats what he did too. Sad, disgusting, annoying, frustrating, infuriating.

So it was like freshmen year again last night. Not really feeling comfortable talking with people because they clearly prefer to associate with people of their own race only. Me, who thrives on diversity, just doesn't fit in this environment. I've never been, nor will I ever be, one of those people who would rather be around their own race than make the most out of this diverse country we live in.