Today I had my assessment with Transportation Security Administration (the people who make sure no dangerous shit gets on planes any more), and I passed! Yes! I'm no longer jobless! Oh, not quite. Nothing is ever that easy. I have no clue when I'll actually start working.

I have to wait 3 weeks for someone to run a report on my credit. Once that is done (and assuming I pass), I have to make an appointment for a medical assessment and drug test. After that is...I don't know. Job training?...

03elleinad

Optimistic; happy; cheerful.


I'm feeling very upbeat today, and I'm not sure why. I didn't sleep very well last night. Part of it was because my best friend crashed here, and I just don't sleep well with others. Then my aunt's granddaughter spent the night, and she doesn't know the meaning of sleeping in. She was up fairly early and making a lot of noise. I had gone to bed at 3am, slept poorly the entire night, and was wide awake by 9am. It was horrible.

So...

03elleinad

The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

I think I lack the skills of good conversation, especially with strangers. Not conversation. I think I can do conversation. But good conversation - where you get to know someone and what they think and all that jazz. Maybe it comes from being shy in high school, but I just don't think I have what it takes to go up to someone and just talk.

What do I say? How do I say it? After the hi, hello, how are you, I'm...

03elleinad

Free from limitations, boundaries, or restrictions.

Up until now there has been so much inconsistency - or what could be called change - in my life. College in itself is inconsistent - from quarter to quarter you're on a different schedule, taking different classes. I lived three different places while at school, and while I enjoy moving and relocating, it quickly became old. Then there were the relationships, or rather THE relationship with a guy I met online at 13 and maintained...

03elleinad

"I always tell people that I have three different children. My oldest son is white, my daughter is Asian, and my youngest son is black." - my Mom

Sunday night my friend came down from Vallejo to hang out with one of the few people she knows in Sac besides me. When she got to the guy's house, some of the guy's friends randomly stopped by. So, finding herself alone with 5 males getting high and drinking, she invited me over.

I realized two things that night....

03elleinad

"A sense of psychological certainty or completeness."

One of the many things that I like about life is closure. Sometimes I feel like I can't have a healthy life without it. Without it, I'd find myself thinking about past events at random moments in time. Or I'll stress myself out over wanting to find closure. So when I achieve closure, there is a sense of calmness, of peace, of something finally coming to a end.

I just found closure with my first screenplay....

03elleinad

I made a very small step forward today in getting back to a normal schedule.

I had planned to get up at 8am to go take a brisk morning walk, but I stayed up way to late last night and didn't end up going until about 10. But I did go. My neighborhood is this giant circle thing, and speed walking around it took about 24 minutes. I'm starting off slow with just walking, but I hope to eventually jog around the entire area once my body adjusts to the physical work again. I also want to...

03elleinad

I've been helping my friend and her NAS (Native American Studies) class take Native American literature and convert it into a play. I originally signed on as playwright and helped them adapt their pieces into a play fit for the stage. I ended up also being cast into small parts after one of the girls in the class broke her foot. Then, on the performance nights, I acted as stage manager. How did one act of friendship turn into so much?

The experience reminded me of how much I loved...

03elleinad

Tuesday, Thursday, and every other weekend my big bro has his son. Since I've been away for college for 4 years of my nephew's 6 years, I try to make a habit of spending time with him whenever he's with my bro.

My nephew's always asking me to do things with him. "Aunty, can you watch me skateboard?"Aunty, can you help me find something to eat?" "Can you help me get the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?" "Aunty can you sit in here with me?" Kids have such a...

03elleinad