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It makes sense... the more you get to know me.Alas I have no penis
Posted 01-08-2009 at 09:43 PM by BlackCherryB
I know the title is strange but bear with me. Ok so I have to get back to my dorms so I can attend my first class by mid next week. I live 30 minutes from the Georgia state line and attend college in Miami. She tells me that she "forgot I had to take you home". Don't be extremely surprised by this, despite the fact that she blames it on her "stressed out because of work" its always been like this. See, in a good ol southern family... or maybe just the twisted one I belong to, after you hit puberty you immediately take backseat to your male couterparts(ie siblings).
Its the same thing with my sister and hell with all of us. See, here's the list of importance to my mother. Her boyfriend, her job, my brother, myself, my sister. Bull shit right? TRY DEALING WITH IT FOR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho, thats why I have my sister. We look out for each other because sometimes it feels like thats all we've got because alas, we have no penis.
Its the same thing with my sister and hell with all of us. See, here's the list of importance to my mother. Her boyfriend, her job, my brother, myself, my sister. Bull shit right? TRY DEALING WITH IT FOR YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho, thats why I have my sister. We look out for each other because sometimes it feels like thats all we've got because alas, we have no penis.
Total Comments 11
Comments
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I understand, trust me. If I was born a boy, my mother and father would have helped me more and treated me better.
For years, my mother straight out admitted she loves boys and would want a house full of sons. She also told me over and over for years "A mother is suppose to take care of her little man. You need a man to take care of you."
My brother is younger than me by like 1 yr and 6 months.
My father refused to buy me a car but brought my brother one. His reasoning; a husband is suppose to take care of his woman. So basically, I couldn't get a car until I was married :confused:
My brother NEVER EVER worked a day in his life. He literally gets everything handed to him. His housing, car, and so on. Me, everything I have ; my apartment, car, education, I worked for.
My mother also told me that I need to quickly find a husband in college. Never rushed my bro to find a wife. After I graduated this December, the big talk about the women in the family wasn't "Good for Lisa on her degree." the talk was "[I]She didn't find a husband!? Not even a BF? What a shame. She spend all that time and no man?"[/I]
I would understand if I was a hellian when I was little and an sassy older woman, but I've always been mousy. Never disobeyed a rule, never broke a curfew, never complained.
So, I am truly believe if I had a dick or at least one ball, my life would have been better and there would be less (or perhaps no) debt loan. :banghead:
There are times I want a penis because I'm tired of being fucked over........ :hissyfit:Posted 01-08-2009 at 10:02 PM by HunnieBee
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Why are people still like this??? Thankfully my mother isn't that bad or at least doesn't admit it to my face. She bought all three of my brother's cars, the second one was new. The first sits in our driveway because "Its his to give away." And then that whole "can't live without a man" ooo that bullshit. I love my dad but he's an alcoholic slacker (but he always treated my siblings and I as equals) and her new bf is the grad student that doesn't want to get a job and actually leave school. GAH!!!!!!!!! I get so pissed!!!!! At least I never had it as bad as my sister, she softened the blow and I'm the youngest. She wouldn't even let us get jobs in highschool. My bro has been working since 15... 15!!!!!!!!!!!! BULL! GAH!!!! I hate double standards!!Posted 01-08-2009 at 10:11 PM by BlackCherryB
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Oh goodness...I wish I was joking on this:
My parents refused to let me have a job while in high school. Their reason: it dangerous out there for girls. But on the flip side, my brother (age 16) was offered a job at my father's company (a retail store) by my dad personally, but my brother refused it. He would rather sit on his butt all day playing damn video games and basketball. I was dying to work but I couldn't :(
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My dad is bipolar and an alcoholic. He's always had an abusive temper TOWARD WOMEN. Never laid a hand on my bro, but always on my mom and me. My mother put up with it because a good woman is suppose to support her man. I got him arrested last year because I got tired of him hitting me. I GET shunned by the women (especially by my mom) and by my bro. My bro admits that his dad may not pay for his plane trip now during spring break. My thoughts were "you're more worried about a damn ticket and not the safety of your sister?!"
I can't blame him, if I was pampered and spoiled, I would only give damn about myself too.
To sum it up....I don't think the 1950's mentality is leaving my family anytime soon. Hell, I"m thinking it might be the 1800's :rolleywhistle:Posted 01-08-2009 at 10:25 PM by HunnieBee
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Yeah that was the same excuse my mom used for me.
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I applaud you for being so strong and doing what needed to be done. My dad only his my mom once but it was during the divorce even still I can never fully respect him because I consider any man who hits a woman a coward. When they were off and on (until I was about 14, they got divorced when I was three. Great relationship example right?) she would always make excuses for why he did it. Her current boyfriend was arrested for getting into a fight with a woman. I've always been a frying pan and hot grits kind of girl because of that. You know "Beat me and I'll kill or make you wish I did".
Damn, but know that their mistakes and shattered visages don't define you. My aunt has a dent in her skull from one of my uncle's beatings and I've had to call the police on him from across the country. (he's in conn. I'm in fl).
You truly are a hero in my eyes for getting fed up.Posted 01-08-2009 at 10:35 PM by BlackCherryB
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He's getting help now for his anger problem and getting mental evualations.
I hope women move forward on thinking and not backwards. Life is hard enough as it is and women and men need to be equals.Posted 01-08-2009 at 11:00 PM by HunnieBee
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Oh, and I should add....if any one (man or woman) ever threatens or actually hits me, you'll going to jail or get HOT ass grits thrown on you and get a few whacks from a frying pan :rolleyes: :laugh: :laugh:Posted 01-08-2009 at 11:14 PM by HunnieBee
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My brother always got or gets more than me. I told my parents to spend all their money, cause I don't need or want it. Since I was 22, I have never asked my parents for any money or help. My brother still asks for help to this day and he's around 46. At least I can have pride in knowing that I've made it without anyone's help except my hubby.Posted 01-09-2009 at 11:48 AM by luvasiagal
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Yeah, I guess thats the upside to it all. It definitely teaches you how to fend for yourself.
And all praise the hot grits defense!
Posted 01-09-2009 at 01:05 PM by BlackCherryB
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hmmm, interesting blog.
its completely opposite in my family. the girls get all the attention. they are babied. maybe thats becuase theyre younger than my older brothers, but i think its because our parents wanted to teach us how to be men. how to be independent and strong. i think its especially common in the asian culture....Posted 01-13-2009 at 08:16 PM by prodigee
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Interesting commentary Pro.
Most of my family members' (on both my father's and mothers branches) mentality is a woman needs a man to survive.
I'm pretty sure it isn't common in the general US population. I'm confused about my and BlackCherry's families because the US's society encourages independence, but the families encourage dependence.Posted 01-13-2009 at 09:04 PM by HunnieBee
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Wow! That's quite a story you got there...it always makes me cringe with shame that parents can still behave like that.
I'm from family of four - 2 older sisters 1 much younger brother (7rs younger). As the youngest and the only son for 7yrs, I was
treated differently by mainly my father, though my mother at that time was not used to voicing her differences with my father, it was
just the way she believed was right in that generation. As I got older and my brother arrived he became the Golden child of the family
and I learnt quickly what it felt like to be passed over like my sisters.
From that point (10yrs old ) I understood how wrong it was to differentiate us based on our gender. Though I was still spoilt I made a point of
either declining favoritism or only accepting it if my sisters could have the same. I washed dishes and took out rubbish, I learnt to cook so I could feed my brother when folks worked late etc and I did this voluntarily as well as work for my parents during my Summer Break whilst my sisters stayed home as it was
the boys duty to work in busines which I had no issue with either. After a while I got smarter and accepted the assistance/gifts like a car when I graduated, money instead of a party for my 21st and a handsome allowance whilst at uni - I knew I couldn't make my parents give this to my sisters if they refused, so instead when I received them I would let my sisters have equal share or access to what was technically MINE. lol it annoyed my father but it quietly impressed my mother. I am my mother's son to my core and I will never stop fighting with my father for the equal and deserving love and attention of my sisters. Consequently now my father and I have a superficial relationship as he sees me as an ungrateful rebellious know it all that will never appreciate what I had in life blah blah.
As my sister married WM's my father refused to go to their wedding so it was my honour to be asked to walk my sisters down the aisle at their respective weddings. To me its a privilege and its only my father who is missing out on what life is about. He will regret it one day and that is his burden to own by himself.
Power to you ladies for having the strength and conviction to follow your heart and endure the cruelty that you NEVER deserved. You can only forgive them and know without doubt that you are a BETTER person today because of it. I use my father as the benchmark of everything I DON"T want to be as a man. I forgive him and with that I am free to live a full life as ME.
Just one thing: PLEASE don't use the examples of your parents as reason to judge the old days, believe me there is still so much that was GOOD then, like most things it is only soured by the few people that abused the privilege of matrimony and parenthood. After all you wouldn't abandon the GAME of basketball because of the actions of a few hooligan fans that behaved badly would you? I hope not, life's too short to miss out on it!
Posted 07-14-2009 at 02:36 AM by PNGBC
