Connect with Facebook
Why I hate men..
Posted 07-27-2009 at 10:20 AM by brwnsuga0407
..ok, not all men. but, a majority.
ok, not a majority.. but my ex husband.
I dont even know why I date. I'm happy when I'm alone. I get sick of men easily. I rather just have them as friends to be honest.
but... shit happens.. and you end up falling for someone. I'm happy in the relationship I'm in now..I rather it not follow the same route my past relationships have taken. we have talked about the things that bother me...and make me shut down and not want to be in a relationship anymore. and we are working on it. and of course I have to work on myself as well....
so the reason for this rant.
I pretty much can't stand my ex husband.
ONE month before I go and pick my daughter up from Maine. he tells me... "We need to talk about Adriana's future"
I automatically know where this is going... so I call him right away.
long story short... after a year of having Adri...he thinks he'd be a better parent. and he doesnt want to send her back home.
my dad told me not to yell and curse at him via the phone... so I took a deep breath and told him this: "we agreed that she was going up there til kindergarden starts..and here kindergarden is starting...and you pull this shit on me. I knew you were gonna do this. I just knew it! but, Im gonna tell you this.. im not going another minute without my daughter with me. You think im like Kalebs mom(his son) but I'm not. i'm not a deadbeat..and if you think I'm just going to willing let you keep adriana.. you are crazy. in one year you think you are better then me.. why? because you have a fiance now? i'm coming to get adriana after your wedding..and that is that."
he then tells me.. "well, are you in school? i had to drop out because it was hard going to school and raising two kids, and working"
to which i told him.."well, im not you. I only have one child, and you do what you gotta do to make it.. i may find it difficult to go to school,work, and raise her.. but most people go thru worst. I will make it work. I already have a plan"
he then starts to kinda shut down..when he realizes i'm not gonna say.. oooh you know what.. you can keep my daughter...its okay.. its not like I carried her for 9 months and raised her till she was 4 or anything. i have noooo attachments whatsoever
fuck that!
I told him.. "adriana will be fine. Why would I let anything happen to my own daughter?" I told him.. "I agreed to a year..away from her. and I cant not bare it any longer then that. Im sorry everyone up there got attached..but she is coming home. you get her in the summers like we agreed. please send me her immunizations and physical from the doctor so i can get her registered for school. thanks.
"
and he said okay. I told him he was upsetting me..and he said he didnt want to upset me and that he's not saying im a bad parent.. but, whatever..it got me heated. why he would think a MOTHER.. would just let her child go like that. he could be the richest man in the world and I wouldn't let her stay with him. he could send me fuckin' child support.
Its shit like this...that really makes me want to be alone. just me and my adriana. I want more kids soon... so I'd be glad to have a sperm donor so I wouldnt have to deal with the man.
but... I had to go and fall for the greatest guy...so looks like that won't be happening.
anyway, pray for me that it all works out.. I'd hate to go to jail for beating my ex husbands ass when I get to Maine. I'm def gonna get my father to come with me in case the ex pulls some shit...
-end rant-
ok, not a majority.. but my ex husband.
I dont even know why I date. I'm happy when I'm alone. I get sick of men easily. I rather just have them as friends to be honest.
but... shit happens.. and you end up falling for someone. I'm happy in the relationship I'm in now..I rather it not follow the same route my past relationships have taken. we have talked about the things that bother me...and make me shut down and not want to be in a relationship anymore. and we are working on it. and of course I have to work on myself as well....
so the reason for this rant.
I pretty much can't stand my ex husband.
ONE month before I go and pick my daughter up from Maine. he tells me... "We need to talk about Adriana's future"
I automatically know where this is going... so I call him right away.
long story short... after a year of having Adri...he thinks he'd be a better parent. and he doesnt want to send her back home.
my dad told me not to yell and curse at him via the phone... so I took a deep breath and told him this: "we agreed that she was going up there til kindergarden starts..and here kindergarden is starting...and you pull this shit on me. I knew you were gonna do this. I just knew it! but, Im gonna tell you this.. im not going another minute without my daughter with me. You think im like Kalebs mom(his son) but I'm not. i'm not a deadbeat..and if you think I'm just going to willing let you keep adriana.. you are crazy. in one year you think you are better then me.. why? because you have a fiance now? i'm coming to get adriana after your wedding..and that is that."
he then tells me.. "well, are you in school? i had to drop out because it was hard going to school and raising two kids, and working"
to which i told him.."well, im not you. I only have one child, and you do what you gotta do to make it.. i may find it difficult to go to school,work, and raise her.. but most people go thru worst. I will make it work. I already have a plan"
he then starts to kinda shut down..when he realizes i'm not gonna say.. oooh you know what.. you can keep my daughter...its okay.. its not like I carried her for 9 months and raised her till she was 4 or anything. i have noooo attachments whatsoever
fuck that!
I told him.. "adriana will be fine. Why would I let anything happen to my own daughter?" I told him.. "I agreed to a year..away from her. and I cant not bare it any longer then that. Im sorry everyone up there got attached..but she is coming home. you get her in the summers like we agreed. please send me her immunizations and physical from the doctor so i can get her registered for school. thanks.
"and he said okay. I told him he was upsetting me..and he said he didnt want to upset me and that he's not saying im a bad parent.. but, whatever..it got me heated. why he would think a MOTHER.. would just let her child go like that. he could be the richest man in the world and I wouldn't let her stay with him. he could send me fuckin' child support.
Its shit like this...that really makes me want to be alone. just me and my adriana. I want more kids soon... so I'd be glad to have a sperm donor so I wouldnt have to deal with the man.
but... I had to go and fall for the greatest guy...so looks like that won't be happening.
anyway, pray for me that it all works out.. I'd hate to go to jail for beating my ex husbands ass when I get to Maine. I'm def gonna get my father to come with me in case the ex pulls some shit...
-end rant-
Total Comments 7
Comments
-
Okay, you will also need to make some moves in the legal realm if you can...
He has prolly already done that and if he hasn't, he will defintely go there next!
Taking your dad will be a good thing and while you are there stop by the police station or maybe call..
Ask them about procedures they handle, if they could help you out with getting your daughter from his house....IF YOU NEED TO....
Hopefully he will act like a proper adult should, kiss his daughter and tell her of all the fun things he has planned for her next return
Is there anyway you could get her before the wedding?
If I were you, I would start planning for war, to be honest because if he ALREADY is talking to you about it..
Means he thought about it, talked to his fiance about it, GOT HER CONSENT, talked to friends, family as well....
And now, he has made his move and talked to you about it...
My cousin basically gave her daughter to her father...First it was her going for a little camp or whatever...
Then it's she lives with them throught the year...
Then she started her first day of school there.....
My cousin is about 4 hours away from her, thought this was fine...Her father taking care of her child and now the child is with his family ALL THE TIME!!!
My cousin doesn't have custody, legally she is about to loose that as well...
While she was taking that 7 year break, now she is about to loose her child to her father...
So SOME women do give up their kids....I think that is what my cousin did, because she also ignored tell, tell signs that he might legally take her child...
Get on it girl!!!
Not to be pessimistic but I know you LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER and because of that you need to get ready...
Hit me up if you want any help with advice or if you just want to vent...
Miss ya!!! CiaoPosted 07-27-2009 at 12:08 PM by Chocoberrysrtcake
-
I really hope you guys have some legal documentation of custody. You should not be doing this without it!Posted 07-27-2009 at 12:36 PM by loraleena
-
Yeah, seriously. Lawyer up if you haven't already. It sounds like you're going to need it!!Posted 07-27-2009 at 12:46 PM by Nomad 
-
I agree, check with a lawyer, be sure to take all legal documentation (birth certificate, divorce decree showing custody, etc.) with you when you go. Prepare for the worst.
And then TRY to be thankful that your ex cares about your daughter. Mine doesn't really give a flip. Kids need their fathers in their lives and to know that their father loves them and will be there for them. Maybe both of you knowing the other parent cares will help keep things more calm and it not get so ugly fighting over your daughter, which it sounds like it could. If YOU can remain civil, it just makes him look like a bigger ass
I will keep you both in my thoughtsPosted 07-27-2009 at 02:36 PM by tigerlilly5
-
Sounds like he is going to fight for her, I agree.Posted 07-27-2009 at 03:30 PM by Diesel11
-
good luck.Posted 07-27-2009 at 03:30 PM by xqzmi
-
I agree with some of the above posts, I hope you had that agreement in writing. Some woman fall prey to believing their ex's word. It becomes their worst decision ever. I'm all about getting things in writing; I generally trust no one. I wish you the absolute best and hope the judge will side with you.Posted 07-28-2009 at 02:39 PM by Huey
