Take one dose a day and you'll get to know me better.
I Have Decided
I feel like I've been all over the place for the past few weeks. There has just been so much going that related to me, to my best friend, to other friends. It can be hard, frustrating, and exhausting trying to focus on so many things at once. Added to that, I often stress about finances whenever a bill is due and every time I get paid.
Thankfully, I'm not miserable. I enjoy being busy, even if I don't relish being stressed about finances. Bottom line is, I've been able to pay all my bills on my own ever since I moved out and started working both jobs. That alone keeps me grounded. I'm sleep well more often than not. If ever I'm in a foul mood, there's always Guitar Hero or food. So, while life isn't always peaceful and calm, I don't have much to complain about.
Yet, an effort to get a little more peace and calm, I've decided to halt dating/relationships altogether. No more thinking about males, lusting after them, trying to find one to distract me. I'm the type of person who gives it all if I have the smallest amount of emotional interest or attraction in a person. Often times, I can't help but give this person all the free time I have whether that be in thought or actually spending time with him.
So I need to cut that out and focus on what is really important to me - writing. I'm currently reading "The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Screenwriters" and I found two passages that stuck with me.
"Writers write. It's what they do. But with a burning desire to succeed, often bordering on obsession, committing to a screenwriting career also means sacrificing most of the things we take for granted, at least in the beginning stages of it, like a steady income, health benefits, or relationships."
"Sometimes, like with anything in life, other good things fall by the wayside."
I feel like thats where I am right now. Something has to fall by the wayside. I'm working two jobs right now to try to pay off some debt while at the same time save up money to one day move to LA/Hollywood. If I really want to do what I say I want to do, I need to commit. Right now, I'm not doing that. I get to my screenplay every now and then. More often than not, the time I set aside to write is spent moping/lusting/fuming over some guy who is not worth my time.
That needs to stop. What I really want to do is what I write in my planner everyday: Write, watch/study movies, exercise for 30 minutes, go to work seven days a week, read, and study Japanese - not necessarily in that order. Throw in hanging out with family and friends every now and then and that doesn't leave much time for the men folk. But I feel this is what needs to be done. So I'm going to try really, really hard to commit to this. I need to start treating screenwriting like the career I want it to be.
P.S. Ricky, if you take this kept girl stuff more seriously, you could be the only guy in my life.
Thankfully, I'm not miserable. I enjoy being busy, even if I don't relish being stressed about finances. Bottom line is, I've been able to pay all my bills on my own ever since I moved out and started working both jobs. That alone keeps me grounded. I'm sleep well more often than not. If ever I'm in a foul mood, there's always Guitar Hero or food. So, while life isn't always peaceful and calm, I don't have much to complain about.
Yet, an effort to get a little more peace and calm, I've decided to halt dating/relationships altogether. No more thinking about males, lusting after them, trying to find one to distract me. I'm the type of person who gives it all if I have the smallest amount of emotional interest or attraction in a person. Often times, I can't help but give this person all the free time I have whether that be in thought or actually spending time with him.
So I need to cut that out and focus on what is really important to me - writing. I'm currently reading "The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Screenwriters" and I found two passages that stuck with me.
"Writers write. It's what they do. But with a burning desire to succeed, often bordering on obsession, committing to a screenwriting career also means sacrificing most of the things we take for granted, at least in the beginning stages of it, like a steady income, health benefits, or relationships."
"Sometimes, like with anything in life, other good things fall by the wayside."
I feel like thats where I am right now. Something has to fall by the wayside. I'm working two jobs right now to try to pay off some debt while at the same time save up money to one day move to LA/Hollywood. If I really want to do what I say I want to do, I need to commit. Right now, I'm not doing that. I get to my screenplay every now and then. More often than not, the time I set aside to write is spent moping/lusting/fuming over some guy who is not worth my time.
That needs to stop. What I really want to do is what I write in my planner everyday: Write, watch/study movies, exercise for 30 minutes, go to work seven days a week, read, and study Japanese - not necessarily in that order. Throw in hanging out with family and friends every now and then and that doesn't leave much time for the men folk. But I feel this is what needs to be done. So I'm going to try really, really hard to commit to this. I need to start treating screenwriting like the career I want it to be.
P.S. Ricky, if you take this kept girl stuff more seriously, you could be the only guy in my life.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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I know exactly how you feel. I don't want to screen-write (at least not right now) but I do want to publish books someday, and I'm not seeing that happening anytime soon because I'm always distracted by something else. I know plenty of people who want to write as a career and they're constantly writing. It's like their ideas are endless, and I get jealous because that's what I want for myself, but once I begin writing something I stop because I'm my own worst critic. 9 times out of 10 I hate what I write so why will I want to finish it or turn it into something big? Bah.
I'm sorry. But, lady, if you commit to something, commit to it. I'll practice what I preach when I come around. Think of your screen-writing as if it were a relationship with a man, because your passion needs to be your top priority. Shower your lover (screen-writing) with affection, talk to him every day, and try not to cheat on him by letting other activities consume you.Posted 11-18-2008 at 03:14 AM by ellimac
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Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fan-dastic!
- Nacho LibrePosted 11-18-2008 at 09:59 AM by absolutpiano2000
Updated 11-24-2008 at 05:36 PM by absolutpiano2000 -
Heya girlie, I feel ya with the busy and the stress. Things will get better for us though I'm sure! Call me anytime.Posted 11-25-2008 at 04:20 PM by CuriousDiabla
