Oh Brother.
Posted 11-02-2008 at 07:11 PM by Dardillion
Just off the phone to Mum, and she tells me that at last my Brother has been sectioned.
Mum is in her 60's, Dad in his 70's, and they both could not cope.
For years now my Brother (31) has suffered from epilepsy, but thought he could handle it and refused medication (cant blame him for that, im the same when it comes to poppin pills). But earlier this year he went missing, and was found over 100ml from home, fitting. He was rushed to hospital where he was sent for a brain scan. Turns out when he was found, the fitting witnessed was only the last one in a line of 7fits back-to-back, and that it had now caused brain damage.
The docs kept my Brother in the hospital for a few weeks, gave him some extra pills to take, then sent him home to be cared for by my Parents. Thing is, my Dad at the start of the year had a massive blockage in one side of his neck in the main artery, had his op, but lost sight in his right eye, and can barely walk. My Mother, through stress developed very high blood pressure and was put on beater-blockers, but she also has had to carry on working, (nurse working in geriactrics) which has not helped at all.
How the docs could send my Brother home is beyond me... I just do not understand! Some lame excuse about not enough beds and not enough help for him, or funding for this, that and the other!
Anyway.. My Brothers condition got worse, Mum couldnt force the meds down his throat, he refused to go out, he said he was in prison, that everyone was evil, that people were trying to kill him. Screaming during the night, and wandering during the day. Not knowing what was what, and who he or anyone else was.
*shakes head*
When i went up to visit, i was in shock and horror at what had become of my Brother. And terrified to leave my Parents, in order to return home. But i did it!
All these months have passed, and my Mum fought so hard to get help, but was refused at every turn. Because of his age, and because his mental state was classed as medical and not mental, even though his mentality was brought on via his fits, he was still mentally suffering. What difference does it make HOW you become mentally unstable? The point is .. You are!
(Dont get me started!)
Anyway..
Yesterday was the second day in a row my Brother had done the Great Escape, and went missing again. The day before, he was found and my Sister went to fetch him home in the car, but he fought tooth and nail not to get in, and almost knocked my Mum into fast on-coming traffic, which of course could of killed her. The police had to take him home..
But yesterday, Mum got the call from my Cousin, saying he turned up at her house, and could my Sis come get him. Mum and Sis already decided if he fought again, just to leave him be. But he didnt fight... Not straight away... It wasnt until my Sis was driving, he in the back seat, Mum up front with Sis (they learned this before when he tried to open the front door while Sis was driving, to throw himself out), and my Brother had fiddled with the child locks, locking himself in good and proper. Because he then felt trapped again, he put his arm around my Sisters neck and tried to strangle her while the car was in motion, but Mum managed to fight him off until my Sis could stop the car then Mum got him out.
My Brother refused to go home, spat at my Mum several times and called her SCUM! (The Brother i knew would NEVER do that to my Mother, NEVER!)
Mum had no choice but to call the police again, but this time the police took a doctor with them from the local mental hospital, then they took my Brother away.
My Mum is in a right state. She wants the best for him, but feels guilt. She needs to rest, but cant sleep well. She needs to eat, but has lost her appitite.
Dad feels useless, because of his condition, and my Sisters heart is broken into tiny bits.
What do we do?
How does a family cope?
Well we carry on loving each other, that is the main thing. We remain positive for my Brother, hoping that this time, he gets the help he has so sorely needed in the past. We stop being mad at the system, and try to work with it instead.
And most of all, we show each other how much we miss being together.
Oh Brother. I love you dearly. I miss you. Get well soon xxxxxxxx
Mum is in her 60's, Dad in his 70's, and they both could not cope.
For years now my Brother (31) has suffered from epilepsy, but thought he could handle it and refused medication (cant blame him for that, im the same when it comes to poppin pills). But earlier this year he went missing, and was found over 100ml from home, fitting. He was rushed to hospital where he was sent for a brain scan. Turns out when he was found, the fitting witnessed was only the last one in a line of 7fits back-to-back, and that it had now caused brain damage.
The docs kept my Brother in the hospital for a few weeks, gave him some extra pills to take, then sent him home to be cared for by my Parents. Thing is, my Dad at the start of the year had a massive blockage in one side of his neck in the main artery, had his op, but lost sight in his right eye, and can barely walk. My Mother, through stress developed very high blood pressure and was put on beater-blockers, but she also has had to carry on working, (nurse working in geriactrics) which has not helped at all.
How the docs could send my Brother home is beyond me... I just do not understand! Some lame excuse about not enough beds and not enough help for him, or funding for this, that and the other!
Anyway.. My Brothers condition got worse, Mum couldnt force the meds down his throat, he refused to go out, he said he was in prison, that everyone was evil, that people were trying to kill him. Screaming during the night, and wandering during the day. Not knowing what was what, and who he or anyone else was.
*shakes head*
When i went up to visit, i was in shock and horror at what had become of my Brother. And terrified to leave my Parents, in order to return home. But i did it!
All these months have passed, and my Mum fought so hard to get help, but was refused at every turn. Because of his age, and because his mental state was classed as medical and not mental, even though his mentality was brought on via his fits, he was still mentally suffering. What difference does it make HOW you become mentally unstable? The point is .. You are!
(Dont get me started!)
Anyway..
Yesterday was the second day in a row my Brother had done the Great Escape, and went missing again. The day before, he was found and my Sister went to fetch him home in the car, but he fought tooth and nail not to get in, and almost knocked my Mum into fast on-coming traffic, which of course could of killed her. The police had to take him home..
But yesterday, Mum got the call from my Cousin, saying he turned up at her house, and could my Sis come get him. Mum and Sis already decided if he fought again, just to leave him be. But he didnt fight... Not straight away... It wasnt until my Sis was driving, he in the back seat, Mum up front with Sis (they learned this before when he tried to open the front door while Sis was driving, to throw himself out), and my Brother had fiddled with the child locks, locking himself in good and proper. Because he then felt trapped again, he put his arm around my Sisters neck and tried to strangle her while the car was in motion, but Mum managed to fight him off until my Sis could stop the car then Mum got him out.
My Brother refused to go home, spat at my Mum several times and called her SCUM! (The Brother i knew would NEVER do that to my Mother, NEVER!)
Mum had no choice but to call the police again, but this time the police took a doctor with them from the local mental hospital, then they took my Brother away.
My Mum is in a right state. She wants the best for him, but feels guilt. She needs to rest, but cant sleep well. She needs to eat, but has lost her appitite.
Dad feels useless, because of his condition, and my Sisters heart is broken into tiny bits.
What do we do?
How does a family cope?
Well we carry on loving each other, that is the main thing. We remain positive for my Brother, hoping that this time, he gets the help he has so sorely needed in the past. We stop being mad at the system, and try to work with it instead.
And most of all, we show each other how much we miss being together.
Oh Brother. I love you dearly. I miss you. Get well soon xxxxxxxx
Total Comments 6
Comments
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Dardy, I'm sorry your family is going through such a hard time with your brother. Cases like his are never easy to manage, and the family usually feels guilty for having to take extreme measures. I sent up prayers for each family member. I hope things get better for you all soon.
Posted 11-02-2008 at 07:31 PM by msohaiku
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Thank you mso, you are always loving, your prayers are welcome. Ive told my Mum that if my Brother does not get proper help this time, and is sent back home, then i will move from England to be there to take care of him, because she cant possibly cope with this. I have no qualms about leaving my job, home, or life i have now. Not after everything my Parents have ever done for me.
Again.. Thank you ((hugs))Posted 11-02-2008 at 08:11 PM by Dardillion
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Ouch, sorry to hear this.
I really hope they can provide help for your brother now.
*hugs*Posted 11-03-2008 at 08:02 AM by Lady_Fate
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If anyone can Dardy and her merry band can! *Hugs*Posted 11-03-2008 at 03:31 PM by Ricecooker
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Even if we have our differences, I'm sorry you and your family have to go through that.
I wish your brother and your family the best of luck with this ordeal.Posted 11-03-2008 at 05:04 PM by Intolight
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i am so sorry! i understand the stress and confusion. i hope that your brother will some how get some much needed medical attention. it is very understandable what all of this is doing to all of you. i hope that you will not need to give up your life, whatever that may really mean, and such. but, if you do, i know that it will help give your family some peace and relief. i hope that your parents will find a way to get some rest and nourishment that they need.Posted 11-03-2008 at 11:28 PM by xqzmi
