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Ready for this to end...
I'm so, so ready for a vacation. I've been so busy lately, and so much is happening and it's really weighing me down now. I can handle a lot of pressure, but right now it's so much that I need a break before I crack.
I've pulled all-nighters at least one day every week since the start of this semester, and I'm currently on my second all-nighter this week. The power in my dorm went out several times yesterday, when I was desperately trying to get my work done, and left me without enough light to draw and without my computer so I could finish my story. My professors won't take that for an excuse, I'm sure. So I sit here at 4 a.m., once again.
My ex's dad died suddenly, some of my friends back home died, and it's really depressing to realise that so many people are gone now. My ex's dad was one of the best people I've known, and he was only 53.
And, to top it all off, my mom filed for divorce. Their marriage has been in trouble for a while now, and she finally officially filed. I'll be going home at the end of this month, but I am not really looking forward to it. They're still living in the same house due to financial concerns, but I'm not sure how nice it will be to be there right in the middle of all this. It's not really something I want to go home to after such a rough semester.
I'll be spending most of the summer in California, if everything goes as planned. After a week or so in Colorado, I'll drive to Cali. Get a job there, save up, and go back to school if I can...
Things at SCAD aren't as good as I thought they would be, and I'm having to seriously consider if the HUGE debt is going to be worth it (I'll be about $70,000 in debt after 2 years of going here). I mean, I'm getting a good education, but I am also not going to be able to collect my full scholarship amount and I've discovered that I may have to go for longer than we originally thought. I could take 4 classes per semester next year, but I already have such a huge workload with 3 that I honestly don't know how I would do 4. These are studio art classes, so for every 2.5 hours spent in class, we have at least 4 hours of work to do outside of them.
It's almost too much to handle right now. The emotional strain as well as the workload is really bearing down, and I hope I can get through the next 2 weeks without having a breakdown.
John is THE only thing getting me through this. He's amazing, and I love him so much. I don't know how I could have come this far without breaking down, if it wasn't for him.
Just had to get it out somewhere. I know I've been MIA for a while, but I figure this is the best place to put this....
I've pulled all-nighters at least one day every week since the start of this semester, and I'm currently on my second all-nighter this week. The power in my dorm went out several times yesterday, when I was desperately trying to get my work done, and left me without enough light to draw and without my computer so I could finish my story. My professors won't take that for an excuse, I'm sure. So I sit here at 4 a.m., once again.
My ex's dad died suddenly, some of my friends back home died, and it's really depressing to realise that so many people are gone now. My ex's dad was one of the best people I've known, and he was only 53.
And, to top it all off, my mom filed for divorce. Their marriage has been in trouble for a while now, and she finally officially filed. I'll be going home at the end of this month, but I am not really looking forward to it. They're still living in the same house due to financial concerns, but I'm not sure how nice it will be to be there right in the middle of all this. It's not really something I want to go home to after such a rough semester.
I'll be spending most of the summer in California, if everything goes as planned. After a week or so in Colorado, I'll drive to Cali. Get a job there, save up, and go back to school if I can...
Things at SCAD aren't as good as I thought they would be, and I'm having to seriously consider if the HUGE debt is going to be worth it (I'll be about $70,000 in debt after 2 years of going here). I mean, I'm getting a good education, but I am also not going to be able to collect my full scholarship amount and I've discovered that I may have to go for longer than we originally thought. I could take 4 classes per semester next year, but I already have such a huge workload with 3 that I honestly don't know how I would do 4. These are studio art classes, so for every 2.5 hours spent in class, we have at least 4 hours of work to do outside of them.
It's almost too much to handle right now. The emotional strain as well as the workload is really bearing down, and I hope I can get through the next 2 weeks without having a breakdown.
John is THE only thing getting me through this. He's amazing, and I love him so much. I don't know how I could have come this far without breaking down, if it wasn't for him.
Just had to get it out somewhere. I know I've been MIA for a while, but I figure this is the best place to put this....
Total Comments 6
Comments
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Wow, poor Dies. You are handling it extremely well. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Especially the divorce part. I've seen so many kids go off the deep end because of that.Posted 05-14-2009 at 03:39 AM by Michael
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i hope for the best. i am sure you will make the correct decisions for yourself. i am so sorry about your parents and such. i even more sorry that so many people are passing on. keep blogging, it might help. of course, when you have time to. good luck. we will be thinking about you even more now.Posted 05-14-2009 at 04:09 AM by xqzmi 
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Glad you have someone to turn to in this time of stress. Hang in there.
Posted 05-14-2009 at 05:50 AM by Diesel11
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You go to SCAD? I lived in Liberty County (Hinesville) for like 4 1/2 years, ending in March. One of my husband's soldiers a few years ago had a girlfriend who went to SCAD.Posted 05-14-2009 at 07:46 AM by Nomad
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Aww... sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear all of this
Stress is never good. School is so bad for that too... At least the school year is almost over though and it sounds like you have a fun summer planned. There is a silver lining to everything, keep that in mind and it will go faster. I hope, LOL Take care of you though, OK?Posted 05-14-2009 at 06:51 PM by Lilah_Luvv
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Many blessing to you Girlie. I hope you'll be able to get there this a little bit longer until a break comes up. You are so close to accomplishing your dreams.Posted 05-14-2009 at 07:02 PM by HunnieBee
