Into my mind you will find a place of rainbows, tornadoes, happiness and sadness, analogies and oxymorons. The mind is an enigma, and therefore, so am I
Warning: Bitch mode on!!!!
Posted 09-12-2008 at 12:01 PM by Eiko212
Ok, I have had this on my mind for quite some time now, and quite frankly, I can't take it anymore. Call me emo if you like 
I need to get this out.
I hate being single. Let’s just get that straight right now.
I am tired of everyone except me getting a fucking boyfriend. There. I said it. Call me childish; call me jealous, I don’t give a flying fuck. I am saying what I need to. I WANT a damn boyfriend already. I thought it would be, but being single is not fun. I want have someone’s house to go over to so I can chill out and talk to. I want to go the fuck out on Friday nights instead of being stuck in the house for the millionth time. I want to set that damn ring tone to someone so I know when they call me. I want to have those arguments. I want to have his bullshit to deal with. I WANT a fucking boyfriend. I WANT fucking relationship. I WANT to get in the damn door already instead of looking in the window and seeing other people get together and hook up. And I am seriously going to consider lowering my standards to do so. Yep, that’s right folks. I will go out and get the thug clone that I hate so much in order to get rid of the sickening feeling I have.
I mean really, its fucking frustrating having your best friends tell you about their wonderful time with Peter, Jason, and Michael at wherever the hell they went, have 5 hour cake sessions with their guy on the phone while completely forgetting that you were even there, or tell you that they have this problem and that problem when all you have is your ex as a reference. And speaking of him…….he has a girl. We broke up 8 months ago, and he got a girl so soon after the breakup, while I got………..nothing. He is happy getting his, and I got NOTHING. 8 months later, I am still alone with nothing to show relationship-wise. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SHOW. Nothing to show but this sad shell of a person who used to have a boyfriend. Is that it? Is that the best I can get? Nothing new to come my way?? Just that one huh? Gee thanks. Nice to know I am a one hit wonder.
And the thing that kills me the most is the fact that the people who tell me that I am “such a good person” and that I “will find that person soon” are the people who I have NO CHANCE with. They are either women, gay, taken, or out of my range of distance. I am quite tired of hearing those lines from guys!! IF I AM SUCH A DAMN GOOD PERSON, THEN WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU ASKED ME OUT????? DON’T WASTE YOUR BREATH WITH THAT “TRYING TO BUILD MY EGO” BULLSHIT!!!! EITHER DATE ME OR DON’T TALK TO ME!!!
I am angry that I can’t get a guy to look my way to save my life. I am on the right track with my life. I am outgoing, intelligent, and funny (or so I have been told by countless people). And yet that amounts to absolutely nothing, because I have been informed that apparently the ugliest bitch on the block has a man. I am tired of being a third wheel. I want to have escapades of my own. I want to have stories to tell. And if it has to be about a thug clone, then so be it, as long as I am not on the outside anymore.
Either that happens, or I become a fucking nun.
End rant mode.
I need to get this out.I hate being single. Let’s just get that straight right now.
I am tired of everyone except me getting a fucking boyfriend. There. I said it. Call me childish; call me jealous, I don’t give a flying fuck. I am saying what I need to. I WANT a damn boyfriend already. I thought it would be, but being single is not fun. I want have someone’s house to go over to so I can chill out and talk to. I want to go the fuck out on Friday nights instead of being stuck in the house for the millionth time. I want to set that damn ring tone to someone so I know when they call me. I want to have those arguments. I want to have his bullshit to deal with. I WANT a fucking boyfriend. I WANT fucking relationship. I WANT to get in the damn door already instead of looking in the window and seeing other people get together and hook up. And I am seriously going to consider lowering my standards to do so. Yep, that’s right folks. I will go out and get the thug clone that I hate so much in order to get rid of the sickening feeling I have.
I mean really, its fucking frustrating having your best friends tell you about their wonderful time with Peter, Jason, and Michael at wherever the hell they went, have 5 hour cake sessions with their guy on the phone while completely forgetting that you were even there, or tell you that they have this problem and that problem when all you have is your ex as a reference. And speaking of him…….he has a girl. We broke up 8 months ago, and he got a girl so soon after the breakup, while I got………..nothing. He is happy getting his, and I got NOTHING. 8 months later, I am still alone with nothing to show relationship-wise. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SHOW. Nothing to show but this sad shell of a person who used to have a boyfriend. Is that it? Is that the best I can get? Nothing new to come my way?? Just that one huh? Gee thanks. Nice to know I am a one hit wonder.
And the thing that kills me the most is the fact that the people who tell me that I am “such a good person” and that I “will find that person soon” are the people who I have NO CHANCE with. They are either women, gay, taken, or out of my range of distance. I am quite tired of hearing those lines from guys!! IF I AM SUCH A DAMN GOOD PERSON, THEN WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T YOU ASKED ME OUT????? DON’T WASTE YOUR BREATH WITH THAT “TRYING TO BUILD MY EGO” BULLSHIT!!!! EITHER DATE ME OR DON’T TALK TO ME!!!
I am angry that I can’t get a guy to look my way to save my life. I am on the right track with my life. I am outgoing, intelligent, and funny (or so I have been told by countless people). And yet that amounts to absolutely nothing, because I have been informed that apparently the ugliest bitch on the block has a man. I am tired of being a third wheel. I want to have escapades of my own. I want to have stories to tell. And if it has to be about a thug clone, then so be it, as long as I am not on the outside anymore.Either that happens, or I become a fucking nun.
End rant mode.
Total Comments 12
Comments
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You are far too extreme with your examples, my dear, i.e. either date me or don't talk to me?!! You need a drink or more like a few shots. =) Seriously though, if you come off as too desparate in your quest for a BF, they seem to sense it a mile away! In the end, you will be a repellant rather than attracting the boyz. I don't want to sound too harsh and I realize you are venting in your own blog, but just wanted to be upfront. (Don't hate me). ;pPosted 09-12-2008 at 12:38 PM by Diesel11
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Don't worry Diesel, I don't. I am just a tired black woman who just needs a breakthrough.........Posted 09-12-2008 at 12:45 PM by Eiko212
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*Big Hugs*Posted 09-12-2008 at 02:29 PM by Stardancer2008
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Listen here lass.. Its obviously not the time yet for you to be with someone, so stop dwelling on it. Have more bloody patience. I know its a total ball-ache, but thats life. Dont you dare lower your standards for some stupid arse bandit that will hurt you, and use you, and make you feel worse than you do now. If ive to come over there to slap you.. youll be sorry, so pack it in. Now .. on a lighter note, if you lived closer id let you borrow my man for a day.. Yes only ONE DAY, cos i think youd kill him with kindness (aka pure lust) if it were any longer Lmao.. Honestly though, chill out Eiko, it will happen and 8mths isnt really that long. Ive gone longer. And if i can do it, then so can you.
Posted 09-12-2008 at 02:36 PM by Dardillion
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You are young and you have so much time. Also it never happens when you are looking and trying so hared. Love finds you when you least expect it!Posted 09-12-2008 at 02:43 PM by loraleena
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just try harder!Posted 09-12-2008 at 06:00 PM by Sexy Pikachu
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I know I know....I just really feel like shit. My best friend told me she saw my ex today, and he looked all happy and forgot all about the fact that we were together, like he totally upgraded from me......I want my upgrade already!!!!!
I know I am young and impatient and I know I have "my whole damn life ahead of me" but quite frankly, I am tired of hearing that line all over and over and over again. I'd like life to hit me now, and hit me HARD with a sexy man for my own. Yeah, that'd be real nice. I'm just broody is all. Don't mind the angry black woman.....Posted 09-12-2008 at 08:42 PM by Eiko212
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**SUPER DUPER big hugz**
I feel ya on your rant. I'm just gonna say this:
Dard is absolutely right. Let your ex do him and you do you. Get you education (study hard! get that degree now!!! love don't pay no bills or feed you at the kitchen table), have your fun with fam and friends, and enjoy chillaxing with them. You'll get that man sooner or later. Right now, do you and enjoy you.Posted 09-12-2008 at 09:34 PM by HunnieBee
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Awww. I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. Keep your chin up.Posted 09-13-2008 at 12:32 AM by tazo157
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OH MY GOD, THIS IS SOME SHIT HITTING THE FAN.
ok, look, i agree with almost everyone. you do not need to try harder...you will drive yourself more insane. that is all we need is a crazy black girl! you know you don't like that stereotype. but, seriously, take it easy..............please. what you CAN do is tell your friends to be more considerate and shut the fuck up once in a while about their lovers. your best friend does NOT need to tell you she saw your ex boyfriend. that is not anything you need to be thinking about.
you can be pissed, bitchy, annoyed all you want. but, just take it easy on yourself and forgive the world, a little. you don't know what is around the corner so please stop crashing into the wall in front of you.Posted 09-13-2008 at 12:38 AM by xqzmi
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oh no no no no nononononononononono, don't ever lower your standards!Posted 09-13-2008 at 11:47 AM by Brisby
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Yeah, don't lower your standards. WTF. DON'T GET SOME TYRONE WANNABE JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL CRAPPY. Come on. Meh... I don't have the greatest luck with guys, or people. Sometimes in that kind of situation you do need to think (and look) outside the box. Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain, but they're not as bad as people make them out to be..
Finding the right person or at least a decent one can come in various forms of searchin'. Interwebz being one of them. I em not a lozer, kk.Posted 09-27-2008 at 05:23 AM by ellimac
