Eight days!

I can't wait! I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. Er, more than a little nervous! Thinking back to a few months ago and how eager I was to see him is funny because now that it's almost time I feel like I'm gonna vomit. XD What I'm feeling right now is equivalent to what a small child feels on Christmas Eve when they know that it's almost time for them to open the presents and they know that their parents bought them that one thing they've been nagging and nagging...

ellimac

Following up the rather melancholy entries is this here, a personal project. I'll be composing several entries for X number of days. Let's say 10 days for right now. The project is about life, and why it's beautiful and random thoughts, snippets of daydreams, collections of pictures, inspirational quotes, song lyrics, videos that I feel best describe my optimistic side and why I enjoy being alive, despite the pain, suffering, hardships and tears that come with being alive. These optimistic blogs...

ellimac

I can't help but feel like things are being rushed.

Don't rush it. Don't force it. Don't push it.

If things are rushed, then how can I be sure you fell in love with me in the first place? And not the me who you thought you knew? I can't. I don't care if it takes years for you to feel strongly for me, or if it takes never because nothing ever comes of us, but don't make the mistake of falling for me too quickly. Forget about the way I look for a second, because I don't...

ellimac

I'm difficult to understand.

I'm moody.

I'm often misunderstood.

My words are often twisted and misconstrued, and before I get a chance to explain them fully, it's too late and I've already done damage.

I can be hot and cold.

I can be completely empty, or completely full.

I spend too much time inside my head.

I imagine too much for my own good.

I don't think I'm cut out for love....

ellimac

Seems I'm on some kind of tangent this morning but I've been trying to come up with an answer to my own question for some time now. This has to do with preferences for people of certain races/ethnic groups (yes, I know, you may be tired of this old talk but no one's forcing you to continue reading). Okay, so. Throughout my life and my short time here on AL I've come across many men (I'm picking on the men today) who have said something along the line of, "I date white girls, Asian girls, and...

ellimac

Men complain about women being "too thin" or "too heavy", but when does it end? Women complain about other women being "too thin" or "too big", but when does it end? I am probably described as what many of you may call "too skinny", "underweight", "anorexic", blah, blah, blah. The list goes on and on for days. I am a skinny black girl. What is with people generalizing? Asian women need to be skinny or are too skinny for some of...

ellimac

They make a comeback! Awwwwh, snap! AL would be nice and peaceful without them and then they rear their ugly troll-esque heads and prance around asking, "Why can't I get a white girlfriend? Why, why, why?"

I'll make a blog entry on why you men can't get white girlfriends after I've had a nap and some lunch for brain fuel. I'll tell all of you losers exactly why you're single.

ellimac

I may be homeless when I'm 25. You may see me selling hot dogs or hot nuts outside of Grand Central Terminal if you ever visit New York City in a few years. And I'm fine with that. Do you want cashews or almonds, or a mix of the two? Oh, surprise you? Okay, that'll be $2.50. Oh, don't give me that look; everyone's gotta make a living.

Yep.

Last year of high school I went to class in the most basic sense of the word "went". I carried my body there but I slept...

ellimac

These Nightmares that Keep My Eyes Open

beng a writer isn't always gold.
my lips lie to seem happy, but i'm a tortured soul.
i think of ending it all, letting it all go,
is suicide really to be my foe?
why can't i take my life if it was given to me?
i'll never come to understand the secret mystery.
and
why don't i think i have the capability --
of loving someone --
unconditionally?
you see, my words haunt me,...

ellimac

I've been listening to this song constantly, day in, day out, and I've been watching the video at least once when on YouTube. I love the romantic atmosphere of the music video, and I can't help but think of Him when I watch it. I can't wait to be with him. I literally can't wait. Thinking about the time we'll spend together is almost enough to send me over the edge of ecstacy. I want to hold his hand and take note of every line of every fingerprint, I want his soft slight lips to meet my pouty ones,...

ellimac