You will respect my authoritah
Posted 10-29-2008 at 12:10 AM by likehawaii
OK so below is an email from my vice principal (my boss in training). He is writing me up for being late to morning duty 3x (morning duty being babysitting 200 middle schoolers playing basketball in the gym before school starts - the reason I went to college...) But writing me up is fair, I'm guilty - I'm late, and I really don't care. The part that is pissing me off is the creepy use of the new security cameras we got this year. Below my vice principals "write up" email. Below that is the response I would like to send but know better.
______________________
To: Me (Teacher)
Good Morning,
I apologize for the delayed response but I needed sometime to make sure that my previous statements were accurate. On Friday 10/10/08, you entered the gym through the side door to the right of the stage at 7:32 am. The main school clock had not been adjusted but even it had still you would have been 5 mins late for your AM Duty. Both of your AM Duty colleagues were on time.
On Monday 10/13/08, you entered the school at 7:34am by the side door next to room 101. That marked the third time you were late for AM Duty during your two week shift. Again both of your colleagues were on time. When you are late it puts more of a burden on them and security since they are required to monitor students without your support.
You have been late to morning duty three times. Please make sure you are in the gym by the bleachers at 7:25am. This will better support your AM Duty colleagues and ensure student safety. If you need any assistance in this matter please feel free to contact me.
I have placed two hard copies of this email in your box. Please sign a copy and return it to me. Thanks
________________________
To: Vice Principal
I would like to know my exact movements of the first time I was late to morning duty. I also would like to have the video cliips of all 3 horrific incidents so I can put them on youtube with random quotes from Eric Cartman yelling things like "BAD TEACHER!" & "You will respect my authoritah"
You should also waste your time docking my pay for the 16 minutes you have evidence that I was late.
I also think there needs to be some changes in our school's late policy as I have seen the new season of The Office and know the dangers of TIME THEFT. At 7:25 security should watch all cameras for teachers coming into the building late. Once late, "laser" beams should be shot out of the big brother cameras decapacitating TIME THEFT teachers long enough to be dragged by building services to the glass prision in the main office where you, TIME POLICE, should beat them & scream "BAD TEACHERS" & "You will respect my authoritah".
Now there are some other TIME THEFT issues we need to take care of. Teachers who leave 1-2 mins (maybe 4 mins) proir to the end of their duty day. Again, I think the most effective use of the big brother cameras would be to activate the "laser" feature and stun the TIME THEFT teachers right as they reach the exit doors. You and other members of the highly effective TIME POLICE committee should place the teacher 1/2 in the building & 1/2 out of the building in order to slammed the door on them, breaking no more than 4.3 ribs & screaming "BAD TEACHERS" & "You will respect my authoritah".
While we are on the subject some teachers commit TIME THEFT during the duty day. Using the "laser" feature would be obsurd. You should instead get on the all call and yell in your Eric Cartman voice specificly at the teacher for all to hear: "BAD TEACHER. BAD MR. TEACHER! You should be running from the band room to the lab! RUN BAD TEACHER" Perhaps the TIME POLICE committee should purchase a radar detecting sign like they have on roads and write up teachers who walk unders 6 mph in the hallways.
If you need any assistance in this matter please feel free to contact me.
______________________
To: Me (Teacher)
Good Morning,
I apologize for the delayed response but I needed sometime to make sure that my previous statements were accurate. On Friday 10/10/08, you entered the gym through the side door to the right of the stage at 7:32 am. The main school clock had not been adjusted but even it had still you would have been 5 mins late for your AM Duty. Both of your AM Duty colleagues were on time.
On Monday 10/13/08, you entered the school at 7:34am by the side door next to room 101. That marked the third time you were late for AM Duty during your two week shift. Again both of your colleagues were on time. When you are late it puts more of a burden on them and security since they are required to monitor students without your support.
You have been late to morning duty three times. Please make sure you are in the gym by the bleachers at 7:25am. This will better support your AM Duty colleagues and ensure student safety. If you need any assistance in this matter please feel free to contact me.
I have placed two hard copies of this email in your box. Please sign a copy and return it to me. Thanks
________________________
To: Vice Principal
I would like to know my exact movements of the first time I was late to morning duty. I also would like to have the video cliips of all 3 horrific incidents so I can put them on youtube with random quotes from Eric Cartman yelling things like "BAD TEACHER!" & "You will respect my authoritah"
You should also waste your time docking my pay for the 16 minutes you have evidence that I was late.
I also think there needs to be some changes in our school's late policy as I have seen the new season of The Office and know the dangers of TIME THEFT. At 7:25 security should watch all cameras for teachers coming into the building late. Once late, "laser" beams should be shot out of the big brother cameras decapacitating TIME THEFT teachers long enough to be dragged by building services to the glass prision in the main office where you, TIME POLICE, should beat them & scream "BAD TEACHERS" & "You will respect my authoritah".
Now there are some other TIME THEFT issues we need to take care of. Teachers who leave 1-2 mins (maybe 4 mins) proir to the end of their duty day. Again, I think the most effective use of the big brother cameras would be to activate the "laser" feature and stun the TIME THEFT teachers right as they reach the exit doors. You and other members of the highly effective TIME POLICE committee should place the teacher 1/2 in the building & 1/2 out of the building in order to slammed the door on them, breaking no more than 4.3 ribs & screaming "BAD TEACHERS" & "You will respect my authoritah".
While we are on the subject some teachers commit TIME THEFT during the duty day. Using the "laser" feature would be obsurd. You should instead get on the all call and yell in your Eric Cartman voice specificly at the teacher for all to hear: "BAD TEACHER. BAD MR. TEACHER! You should be running from the band room to the lab! RUN BAD TEACHER" Perhaps the TIME POLICE committee should purchase a radar detecting sign like they have on roads and write up teachers who walk unders 6 mph in the hallways.
If you need any assistance in this matter please feel free to contact me.
