So I am taking a bunch of American Indian Studies classes this semester. When I first went off to college, which was a disaster, I got picked on and ostracized by other Native students because I was mixed. I ended up internalizing those beliefs, that I was a watered-down version of a real "Indian" and that I would always be an outsider. It took me a long time to get to a point where I was comfortable with being mixed. I remember the 18 year old me going up the stairs to the Indian...

paloma

(that's a song title by Love Jones)

Working in a busy restaurant with lots of servers is a whole 'nother ballgame. When I've waitressed/cocktailed before, it was either in a small family-owned neighborhood Mexican restaurant, or in nightclubs. You would think nightclubs would be the place for hijinks, but it was usually just a bunch of girls working to make money, and who were serious about it. The restaurant I'm at now has several servers on each shift, and everyone is very flirty...

paloma

So I'm living with my in-laws this semester for various reasons. And they have a pretty crappy marriage. My MIL is a control freak and my FIL has no backbone. There was a really cool lightning storm last night and the family was up watching it. The two kids and I were in one part of their ginormous McMansion, and the parents were a few rooms away. I could hear her sniping at him "Don't stand in the doorway like that! Oh come on that's stupid. Get over here right now! You are making...

paloma

I dunno why, but I kinda just always wanted my son to have long hair. Before I was a mother, the little boys I saw at pow-wows used to melt my heart, with their tiny ribbon shirts, tiny Wranglers, zip-up cowboy boots, and two braids down the back. It's not a part of either of my tribe's lifeways for boys to have long hair, but it's just so darn cute that I am growing out his hair.
I went up last week to start moving out of my house with my husband. We met to discuss the divorce and custody...

paloma

I got suckered into helping a friend out with a restaurant opening. I thought my blog title would lure in the pervs
Last night they had a "soft opening"-they held two benefit dinners for a local women's shelter, to help out the community and get the staff broken in too. I couldn't work the 5 pm seating, but I worked the 8 pm seating. It was chaos, but I knew it would be. I've never worked a restaurant opening, and I hope to never do it again. One of the hostesses,...

paloma

I got a call from Tribal Education-there was a problem with my FNA at school. The Financial Need Analysis is a form my school sends to the tribe, and based on that, the tribe allocates funds to me. I had already modified my FAFSA to change my marital status to separated, so my husband's sizable income is not in the picture. After some phone calls, I found out that my husband never filed our 2007 taxes. Nothing I find out about him disappoints me anymore. I have also learned to never put my...

paloma

I was slowly letting some news trickle out, but now I don't know why. My husband and I are over, and we are divorcing. I haven't lived with him since April. I've moved in with my parents. In fall I go back to school, and strangely enough, then the baby and I will be living with my in-laws ! That alone should be an indicator of just how bad my husband's behavior has been. I was 8 months pregnant when I found out he was cheating on me, and since November it's been a rollercoaster. I was willing...

paloma

Last week was the saguaro harvest. This is the start of the new year for my tribe. There's no calendar date for the new year-we just keep an eye on the saguaros as they start to blossom and form fruit. Then when we see the red ripe fruit at the tops of the saguaros, it's harvest time. It's usually mid June, but we had a colder winter than usual. The ripe saguaro fruit is called bahidaj (there is no standard O'odham orthography). There are names for the fruit at the different stages of ripeness....

paloma

So I'm doing the single parent thing right now. I have no clue about penis maintenance, so I asked a male friend who has a young son for a penis cleaning demo. He showed me how to clean the rim of my son's mushroom tip and to let it all air out after bathtime. So as my friend began to watch me do it, he went WHOA when he saw my son's penis. He swore my son's penis was huge. I didn't believe it, because his 6 month old penis just looks darling, like a cutesy little pink guppy. Then my friend...

paloma

Alright a few weeks ago I peeked at my grades, with one hand covering my eyes, gingerly logging on to the computer, clenching my asshole in fear...I knew I had done really poorly in one class. IN MY DEFENSE, ahem, this course became a little unmanageable because I moved out and had no consistent access to a computer, and 1/3 of our grade depended on these online homeworks, doing acoustic experiments with .wav sound files. So I checked, and I had a 64%, so I called my academic advisor at Tribal...

paloma