Even the desert must have its rain.
Even the moon must cast its own light.
Even a star must die when it is time.
Even I must share my pain.
Even the moon must cast its own light.
Even a star must die when it is time.
Even I must share my pain.
Rebirthing
Posted 08-18-2008 at 08:08 PM by Shaharrah
The Year of the Rat, 2008, is suppose to be particularly auspicious for those who are rodents. Well, let me tell you, it has been a helluva year...but not necessarily the luckiest. I mean, don't get me wrong, all in all some great things have happened to me. I got into the university of my choice, I rid myself of some unhealthy relationships, got a new apartment with nice roommates, AND have been working on my own self esteem.
But the negative....somewhat, still has left its toll.
For instance, I have had two near death experiences: ie, being stranded in a nonfunctional car in a blizzard and choking during a late supper in a restaurant. Also I have had an incredibly strained second chance with my most recent ex-boyfriend. Then it turns out he runs off with some blond sorority girl and stalks me with the constant "You just HAVE to be my friend " spiel. I finally just had my lesbian friend claim me as her "girlfriend" to get him to leave me alone. OH, and then my first love in not so many terms basically came out that he was unfaithful at the time when we dated. Major ouch. Then my father had a surprise, emergency surgery which my grandparents failed to tell me about....UNTIL it was over with. That irked me quite a bit.
Not to mention the lack of quality dating.
Most depressing.
So....in a week I start the next phase of my life. Let me tell you, I'm nervous as hell about going into university. At least I have the liberty of entering as a junior. (All those years of community college have paid off, haha. :p) I'm certain now of my major, and I'm in a much healthier environment living wise. I also am more at ease with my family and their new house. Many sad, hurtful relationships have come to a close for me, and I'm excited to make new connections. I have even tried a new hairstyle and color, let my belly button piercing close up, and am toning down my earrings to just one in each ear lobe. In short....I'm seeing what the new "me" is like. Finally, I have begun to explore more into my spirituality.
Fascinating stuff, really!
It's hard to transition in life. That's exactly what I'm doing. I feel I'm already maturing and growing in ways that I haven't realized. Now I just have to get to know the older version of myself, and hopefully good things will come my way. It's lonely, frightening, and invigorating. Maybe the Year of the Rat will end on a high note for me after all.
We'll see!
Shaharrah
But the negative....somewhat, still has left its toll.
For instance, I have had two near death experiences: ie, being stranded in a nonfunctional car in a blizzard and choking during a late supper in a restaurant. Also I have had an incredibly strained second chance with my most recent ex-boyfriend. Then it turns out he runs off with some blond sorority girl and stalks me with the constant "You just HAVE to be my friend " spiel. I finally just had my lesbian friend claim me as her "girlfriend" to get him to leave me alone. OH, and then my first love in not so many terms basically came out that he was unfaithful at the time when we dated. Major ouch. Then my father had a surprise, emergency surgery which my grandparents failed to tell me about....UNTIL it was over with. That irked me quite a bit.
Not to mention the lack of quality dating.
Most depressing.
So....in a week I start the next phase of my life. Let me tell you, I'm nervous as hell about going into university. At least I have the liberty of entering as a junior. (All those years of community college have paid off, haha. :p) I'm certain now of my major, and I'm in a much healthier environment living wise. I also am more at ease with my family and their new house. Many sad, hurtful relationships have come to a close for me, and I'm excited to make new connections. I have even tried a new hairstyle and color, let my belly button piercing close up, and am toning down my earrings to just one in each ear lobe. In short....I'm seeing what the new "me" is like. Finally, I have begun to explore more into my spirituality.
Fascinating stuff, really!
It's hard to transition in life. That's exactly what I'm doing. I feel I'm already maturing and growing in ways that I haven't realized. Now I just have to get to know the older version of myself, and hopefully good things will come my way. It's lonely, frightening, and invigorating. Maybe the Year of the Rat will end on a high note for me after all.
We'll see!
Shaharrah
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Having insight into who you are and what direction you want to go in and having the courage to take that first step of a new journey is a fantastic feeling. Growing in the direction your heart takes you is a life long happening. I don't expect to stop evolving until I leave this Earth, and what great things lie ahead of each of us even then!Posted 08-19-2008 at 05:02 AM by msohaiku
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i am sure you will do well this year. i have a feeling it did not start off well for any us who are under that sign.
use all the hard times to build your new foundation and you will be even stronger than you were in the past.Posted 08-19-2008 at 08:08 PM by xqzmi 
