We are looking for a program manager to sort out some order from chaos. Knowledge in project management is essential (by Grace of God I don't know what that means), some knowledge in science and engineering is preferred - which means we shouldn't regard you a liability on our worker's compensation. History of inadvertent self-electricution is strongly discouraged from applying. Must be a quick learner and motivated. Occasionally I'd drop you a paper in a completely unfamiliar field and expect you to teach me everything within 48 hours.

Since the economy sucks coyote balls, we prefer hiring locally. You really don't need to a super genius, but you must tolerate incredibly geeky subjects on the lunch table, and you shall not distract us from these topics. Workplace pranks are not unusual, so you must sign a waiver form.

I'm joking about just about everything except the fact that we ARE hiring a project manager. Locally, that is.

that puts a cramp in me sending in a resume! i love to electrocute myself.