Ok, this is kind of a rant. I am pretty sure it had been discussed b4, but hear me out...

I went on a few dates with a couple of white girls recently, and I been telling some of my friends (Asians) and family members. EVERY ONE of them asked me: "aren't there Asian (or Chinese some said) girls around?

WTF, I feel like Asians don't expect Asian men to date outside their race. It's almost like they don't WANT me to date non-Asian girls. You think white girls is a no-no to them, wait till I tell them I went out with a black or hispanic girl - I think they would just flip out.

The more this happens, the more I think a lot of the Asian male empowerment thing is bullshit. Cuz a lot of the same Asian males that think Asian males should be empowered often discourage other Asian males from dating non-asian females.

Well, each ethnicity has its own stereotypes of others. They might see Caucasian girls as a wild, crazy bunch that gets around and the typical Asian as a virginal, innocent, quiet girl. Maybe if you brought home the sluttiest Asian girl you could find, it'd change their views a little. They also might be afraid your future family would be less Asian-culture-oriented or whatnot. My parents are the same with Hispanic/Black/Indian people. The nicest way my mother put it was that she preferred I wouldn't, because bringing a black man back to China to meet all my relatives would probably scare the shit out of my 4 year old cousin. The only reason they like me dating white guys is that their stereotypical view of Caucasians is outgoing, personable, able to get what they want to make me happy, etc. Their view of Asian guys tends to lean toward the glasses-adorning, antisocial, bookworm-type who's on World of Warcraft all day or something. :/

I would say it has nothing to do with the empowerment thingy, but with the people in your surroundings.

Some of the whiteys here in my surroundings reacted the same way, not so many though.

Like one friend, she was like "can't you find yourself a german boyfriend already?".
Me: "why, being german isn't a quality label for me".
She: "huh?"
Me: "I mean, germans aren't necessary better people, you know. I take all those whom I like, doesn't matter what they are as long as they are human and male."
She: "Uhm, I guess you are right".
Next time I met her she had the hots for an italian dude.

To some people it just appears unusual when you date outside your race.
They assume that the same raced people fit together better.
My people learned fast though, noone ever came up with the race issue again when I held them my "german isn't a quality label" speech.

If it comforts you, I believe that in every race there are more people who would prefer a spouse of the same race and fewer who want to go into a mixed relationship.
Many people look out for similar people to hang out with and that's nothing bad as long as they don't give the others a hard time.
Many still think that being "similar" is being of the same race too.

Lieber stehend sterben als kniend leben!

The reason why I am a bit upset is that when Asian women date outside their race (especially white men), there seems to be no fuss about it coming from their Asian family/friends. It's kind of a silent approval that AF/WM is ok.

When Asian ppl have these kinds of ingrained "daing norms" in their heads, it is no wonder that you see the disparity of AF/WM and AM/WF relationships. Sometimes I feel that Asians (my own ppl) don't think an Asian male is good enough to get a non-asian female. This makes me upset and quite angry.

I see what you mean.
I can't know better than those asians, but might it be that they are worried about their family traditions?
Sons oftenly have to hold up the family later and maybe they just fear to not come along with his other raced wife then?

You don't know what kind of petty fears my own mum had when I had my first boyfriend.
He is vietnamese, so it was the double whammy for mum, first dude for her girl AND asian.
She told me a lot of crap, we argued, she gave in ...
and loved him anyways, so all the hassle was useless excitement in the end.

Some people will never learn it but some others do, so don't give up the hope.
In the case of my mum, she just didn't have experiences with all that and was worried about her kid.
That faded out soon whzen she saw that my man was decent.
Just good that my first man was asian already, so I didn't ever have to repeat that speech again.

Are these stereotypical beliefs similar to your own beliefs?

Stripping for all aznlover women...



Love is the life of the soul. It is the harmony of the universe.
William Ellery Channing

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.
Michelangelo

Agreed. I think you'll find this across all races. It's a HUGE assumption that people of the same race fit better together. For some people it's true, for others its not. To me, it's just a sad fact of life. Your problem, unfortunately, is not unique to Asian races.



I disagree about Asian families not making a fuss about Asian women dating outside their race, but I think that comes from personal experience. My Vietnamese friend told me her dad is okay with her dating non-Viet males, but NOT okay with her marrying one. She has to marry Vietnamese - bottom line.

But I can also see your point of view. I wonder if it is related to the importance of/ dependence on the male in Asian cultures. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the bulk of the weight fall on the male's shoulders in terms of taking care of parents, carrying on the family name, maintaining the family honor, and etc? Maybe most Asian families feel a lot of this would be lost if the male doesn't marry an Asian female. I dunno, just a thought.

"I am American mentally with Japanese tendencies." - Lupe Fiasco

"Movies are fake." - Richard Walter, Professor and Screenwriting Faculty Chairman, UCLA

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

No worries bud, I had similar issues, (just from relatives outside my immediate family) they just kinda accepted it after a while... But that last part, with Asian males discouraging other Asian males? Utter nonsense. Methinks you're over thinking things... act first as an individual, if you do well on your own part, it only helps the community. Keep ya head up friendo.