Over the last couple of weeks, I've gone on two dates with a friend of a friend. There seems to be mutual interest, however, she has told my friend that I seem to treat her in a very "platonic" fashion and do not appear to put forth much effort. My buddy and I take it as me not giving enough signs that I am indeed interested her. Any tips?

I am a very laidback, goofy, funny type of guy. I can generally converse well with anybody, but I'm afraid that my overall easygoingness may be affecting my ability to show my true feelings for this girl. In typical conversations with people I've just met, I admit that I am pretty agreeable and I think that works well for me in helping people feel comfortable around me. I try not to bring up sticky or touchy topics, but if the other party does, I can meld in just fine and continue the conversation.

Back to this dating thing... How do I show this girl that I am interested in her? Some folks have told me to be more "physical", but as an asian male who can count the number of times he's hugged his own mother with one hand, I am not very well versed in initiating any sort of physical contact (though I am working on it). I do well when it comes to giving hugs to good friends (girls), but objects of affection are difficult for me. Don't get me wrong, I've been in numerous relationships, but it's typically been the girl that slowly initiates or alcohol that's been responsible for the first move being made on my part. In the past, having to initiate contact has sort of caused me some anxiety and has felt awkward for me. I've always had a fear of being "that" creepy guy that moves too fast that I see on tv and hear girls talking about. However, this fear has now made me into a person that moves too slowwwwww.

Guys, any suggestions on what to do? What works for you? How do you initiate contact, show attraction on your part?

Girls, what do you like guys to do if there seems to be mutual attraction? What types of things should I say to show more of how I feel?

Thanks for reading this essay, any help is appreciated, thanks!

You gotta ask yourself why you are the way you are.

Are you laidback and agreeable with girls because that's the way you are, or because you are afraid of speaking your mind and acting naturally so that you don't rock the boat?

Despite what you might think, girls rarely find a guy that agrees with them all the time all that attractive.

"You are loser! Get out of my way. I make it somehow!" - legendary Vietnamese pimp Tom Vu

Show affection by hugging, kissing her on the lips... I have had this problem before when I went on dates. As I've hardly seen my parents show affection in their marriage.

This is too complex to discuss online. Come to the SF meet, we'll discuss then and run through a pretend-date with a female volunteer.

But in short, women only complain about creepy guys that move too quick because they are creepy guys, not because they move too quick. Move too slow and the moment is gone forever, move quick and she'll at least know you're passionate regardless of whether or not she reciprocates. Now if you really ARE creepy... uh, well, just use it to your advantage. Less thinking, more doing.

As Vince Vaughn said in "Swingers": Stop being the "PG-13" guy; be the Rated "R" guy.

You might ask your friend for some information. What kind of guy has this woman had relationships with in the past?

I hate to say this, but sometimes I think that if a woman has been dating jerks, then she starts to think that is who she deserves/is right for her. Then when someone comes along that doesn't treat her that way, she doesn't know what to do.

Or it might be that she's always dated men that were more aggressive/forward in their interests. If that's what she knows, then it's not surprising she's unsure about you.

Did you happen to be double-dating or with a group when you were with this woman? If so, you might ask the opinion of other women.

Sometimes all you can do is come out and tell her that you like her and would like to see more of her. If you can get a third date, you might try telling her then.

Life is too short to be f***ing around... tell her you're interested and see where it goes. If no where, then move on. IMHO

Well in your case..."Stop being the Rated "XXX" guy."

ok from a woman's perspective...Life is about living in the moment, some guys analyze it like it's some math equation. If you and your date are having a good time, and you feel that there's some chemistry, go for it. Even if you're not sure, you can take subtle steps like, try holding her hand and if she responds positively then try other physical contact.

They usually know if you're interested if you call back lol.