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  post #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-10-2008, 12:07 AM
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Help me out here

I need some advice here.
On Thursday of the first week of the two week long finals period, to my right I noticed a gorgeous little thing. I had no choice but to do a cold pickup, butt sober. I introduced myself and asked if I could sit at her table. She was upfront about having a boyfriend; she squeezed the fact in elegantly within 2 minutes of the conversation. After 3 hours of stimulating conversation, I walked her home. It would have been longer had it not been finals week. We both were strapped for time. She gave me her number w/o me even asking and said bye in an extremely flirtatious manner. I have enough experience with women to know for sure she is attracted to me. Her behavior during our entire interaction exhibited all the symptoms. She’s a fellow student, a sophomore. I’m a senior but I’m several years older since I started college late.

I thought, man…I really like this gal but she has a BF. Seriously though, it’s her boyfriend from high school. He is nowhere near her level now; it’s time she leave him behind! He drives a lifted truck for god’s sake! I would hate to be the one having to convince her so. I also don’t like the idea of courting a woman who is taken, at all. But I couldn’t resist her blonde hair, green eyes, and intellect. I run into women like this only once in a blue moon, even though I hit on women all the time…with ease. I bit the bullet and asked her out for lunch, twice, once on Monday and once on Wednesday. She politely declined stating that she must study for her exam which starts in an hr the first time, 2 hrs the second.

Thursday I sent her a text message asking if she would like to go do a little sailing and have a picnic. God dammit, as soon as I hit the send button, I wanted to cancel the message but it was too late. Unlike the first two times where she responded quickly, this time she didn’t respond at all. I called her the following Monday since I couldn’t freaking help it. The topic never came up and we only spoke briefly. She stated that she wouldn’t be around for the summer since she’s heading back home, unsurprisingly as this is normal.

I haven’t talked to her since. I am refraining from ever calling her again. I think she led me on on purpose. And I fell for the oldest trick in the book. At this point, I still can’t get her off my mind. I don’t know whether or not to continue to pursuit. Normally when a man pursues a woman, she will run away. I think I may have been too aggressive, dammit. This may be beyond any repair. Should I call it quits?
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:23 AM
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Dude, my opinion is that you leave it alone for now. You're only going to seem a little stalkerish if you keep reaching out to her. She's already denied you a few times on date attempts. I think that's sign enough. The best thing you can do is be a friend to her. If her boyfriend is that much of a nutcup as you mention AND if you think she does like you as you imply then there is a possibility she realizes that her current bf is a nutcup and dump his ass.

BTW, where's her boyfriend at? Is he still back at home?

I would never pursue a woman that's already taken but that's just my policy. She's already back home for the summer so there's no point in reaching out to her when she's not even near.

Hope his helps. Good luck.

"All know the Way, but few actually walk it"
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:40 AM
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Originally Posted by daveytrainsf View Post
Dude, my opinion is that you leave it alone for now. You're only going to seem a little stalkerish if you keep reaching out to her. She's already denied you a few times on date attempts. I think that's sign enough. The best thing you can do is be a friend to her. If her boyfriend is that much of a nutcup as you mention AND if you think she does like you as you imply then there is a possibility she realizes that her current bf is a nutcup and dump his ass.

BTW, where's her boyfriend at? Is he still back at home?

I would never pursue a woman that's already taken but that's just my policy. She's already back home for the summer so there's no point in reaching out to her when she's not even near.

Hope his helps. Good luck.
Hey thanks for the reply. Yep, her bf is from her home town. They met in high school. I don't think he counts. First boyfriends never last She's only 19, comming on 20.

You're right though. I'll call it quits.
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Old 07-10-2008, 12:41 AM
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leave her alone.

she has never called you....right?

seems to me...she just likes the fact that someone other then her boyfriend is showing interest in her. she has no intentions of hooking up with you. if she wanted to...she would have responded to the picnic text. and she would be talking to you now.

she's taken. forget her. move it along.

I'm known to walk alone...but, i'm alone for a reason

I don't have an ego... I just love how awesome I am

www.myspace.com/aliadri

"You're traveling through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land who's boundaries are that of imagination. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Twilight Zone!"
- Rod Sterling
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Old 07-10-2008, 01:21 AM
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Yea, I agree with the others, it's not a good idea to pursue it any longer. Even if she didnt have a bf, if she didnt accept the first 2 offers and the last one she made sure to tell you that she was going back home, so that should give you some indication of how she feels. Maybe she gave you the impression of leading you on, but maybe she thought you were a cool person and wanting friendship since school is stressful and wanted someone to share the same experiences.
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Old 07-10-2008, 02:50 AM
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Yep, I figured...
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Old 07-10-2008, 05:28 AM
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The old adage, three strikes and you're out seems appropriate here.

"Live Free or Die"
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Old 07-10-2008, 05:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jovi View Post
...
I haven’t talked to her since. I am refraining from ever calling her again. I think she led me on on purpose. And I fell for the oldest trick in the book. At this point, I still can’t get her off my mind. I don’t know whether or not to continue to pursuit. Normally when a man pursues a woman, she will run away. I think I may have been too aggressive, dammit. This may be beyond any repair. Should I call it quits?
I have a feeling that she was caught in the mutual attraction too in the moment and just flirted.
Maybe she got second thoughts about it all later.
Some women lead men on consciously because they crave the attention.
But some also just get that feeling for the moment and backpaddle later.
Because, really, there are always beautiful people out there, regardless if one has a spouse or not.

I would backpaddle though, as you and others have already said.
Because this behavior of the girl doesn't sound to me like she is really going to give you something back.
And if she flirts with you while she has a boyfriend, she could as well flirt with another man when YOU are her boyfriend.
That's what I always keep in my mind when taken dudes try to hit on me which happens sometimes.
After all, taken people do have the choice if they follow their momentarily urges or not.
Oftenly one only gets drama from such stuff.

Sure, those people are friendly and all, but ...

Lieber stehend sterben als kniend leben!


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Old 07-10-2008, 09:32 AM
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