How to stop getting pwned by your subconscious mind and emotions

bjaysan · 08-09-2009, 12:56 AM

Hello people.

I'ed like to share something with you thats helped me out tremendously. This may seem like metaphysical gibberish but please hear me out..I think anyone isn't numb to emotions knows what I am talking about.

I'm writing this in the context and perspective of an asian guy for other asian guys, for this forums, for the dating scene and everything else related to this forum.

You often hear stuff like "don't let it affect you" or "stay positive" or something like "ignore your negative emotions!" and all that, and often no matter how much we consciously want something to happen, and prepare for it, we sometimes just mess it up when we need it the most. We try and try, we try to belief, but we can't help but "Feel" otherwise. There is also this thing that guys say "BE A MAN!!!" and I have no idea what they are on about, because I can't help but FEEL things and the more I try the more shit I felt.

You could call your negative issues/stuff as "operant conditioning" or "interalized racism" or whatever you wanna label it... and think, analyse and wonder whats wrong with you and go cuckoo in the process.

I think what needs to happen is for a lot of you you guys to let go of your negative programming/emotions and this is how I do it...

The three things that usually mess us up for the dating scene, are the navel chakra, the solar plexus chakra, and the throat chakra..

To...explain more easily...in a way everyone can relate to...

Navel Chakra is when you feel butterflies in the stomach, get "approach anxiety" etc, feel ya tummy churning, feel a tightness there, feel insecurity and all that..that "Feeling" starts there, or when you feel uncomfortable and whiny coz your white friends are stealing all the girls or something. Or when you look around and feel "omg I feel so out of place!!!".

Solar Plexus Chakra is the main one that messes all of us up emotionally big time Its the one where we feel the most emotional pain, the "Broken heart" feeling in our chest, the weird feeling you get when someone is lying to you, the tug you get when you sense prejudice, or when you feel resentment, grudge, yadda yadda..you get it? Or when a girl doesn't answer your calls anymore, and you feel T.T-ish, or when you get rejected... Its also the one that girls feel with "Bad boys" a lot and confuse with love (I can write a whole post on it but I'll shut up xD).

Throat Chakra is when you see a girl you are attracted to and then you feel muted/speechless. You know how sometimes you really want to say something, but you just can't? Or when you are afraid to tell the truth and you feel some block there. It is indirectly connected to Solar Plexus Chakra. You know when girls say "ITS HOW YOU SAY IT!" or something and then us guys just scratch our heads and then go "wtf is she on about?" or something...It has to do with this one also...or when sometimes we wannabe sincere but we end up sounding like a creep in the process

So..what to do?

Become conscious of these emotions and practise "letting go", through visualization, anything, whatever method you choose, use your own intuition! You see, you cannot "fight" it, its part of you, the more you fight and suppress, the more you're gonna feel "Argghhh!!". You know how that kung fu guy said "be like water" ? Make space for it...let go..

"Let go??? How do I do that!!!!!!!?!?!?! ffs!"

This is whats going on...take a pen, and then clench it with your fist...after a while you will notice that feeling is the same thing thats going on inside of you, the knots, YOU ARE HOLDING ON TO YOUR EMOTIONS!!! LET GO!!!! With practise, slowly these emotions will release, and you will find yourself sabotaging yourself less and less.

One way is to, just relax your body and "imagine" that the knots are untying there whenever you feel it. If you are a more kinesthetic person, another way is just clench ya fist and notice how its similar with that crap feeling and then "let go" both at the same time as you open your fist.

Over time, you won't miss it when girls actually like you..you'll pick it up easier, you won't be oblivious and ask yaself "oh why would she like me?" bla bla bla, you know? all the whiny stuff on the forums that you see, will start happening less and less.

I can write more, but I don't know if people will appreciate my unsolicited advice.

But its gonna take time and practise, and your own willpower, and that is up to you. Make it a habit, not only when shit hits the fan. Make it a life long thing, life will slowly change. Its not a quick fix, but it will help you in the long term.

RELEASE ON EVERYTHING!

From The lust feeling, you feel when you think OMG OMG WHITE GIRL GOSU T.T~!! WHY?! T_T or The resentment you feel OMG OMG THERE GOES ANOTHER AF SELL OUT >_< or OMG OMG I DON'T WANT GIRL FROM RACE X, COZ SHE IS NICE BUT I AM BLINDED BY LUST AND I'M A PREJUDICED DOUSCEBAG MYSELF! or the anger you feel when you someone makes a stupid azn stereotype joke or ad or whatever...you get the idea? You can do it on everything....all the feelings..let them go! And the more you do, the more these "Thoughts" will also go into the back of your head and you make room for the positive to enter your life.

You cannot change the world, but you can change yourself, and the world will change with you. To know where I am coming from...I'll say this about myself, I have a weird singapore-indian accent, I am nowhere as rich as a lot of the locals here in Australia, and even my own indian locals treated me like a "off the boat" immigrant in Australia. I only moved here when I was 22. I was treated 2nd class because I felt 2nd class... You know how some girls say "I don't like how some guys from other races just stare us down?" you know that? I was one of those, I looked at them and in I felt inadequate and thought "well shit I will never get her, who will want an indian? she is so pretty, ffs, I hate my life, why was I born bla bla bla bla", and that reflected in my eyes, and I put her off. And then I will go whine somewhere "OMG THE GIRLS HERE DON'T WANT INDIAN GUYS T.T!~!!!"

I got really shitty and whiny and depressed and then I turned into this, coz I felt judged by everyone...

Get it? I screwed myself over with my own crap and believes. I made my own reality of nothingness, of lack, of wanting control, approval and security, instead of just having it from within. I was judging myself and my feelings were making my internalize a lot of my own thoughts and then I simply drove girls away with neediness and lowering my own perceived value and then suddenly I was in my own hell.

To prove my point..Recently you guys know there was buncha indians whining there was racism in australia against them. There were protests and stuff on the streets. Not for me, I haven't felt anything because I feel its okay here, and thats not my reality...
I know it is, but its not affecting me because I feel not to. I haven't encountered any racist shit towards me, not till I realised what I was doing to myself.

I was creating the negativity inside me that was reflected in the world outside. I was victimizing myself.

That was my past, and, its kinda embarrassing posting a picture of me looking like that, but, I only did it cause I hope you guys know where I am coming from.

I hope this post helps you folks!

Lady_Fate · 08-09-2009, 02:20 AM

That's an interesting elaboration, thank you very much for sharing.

TAP · 08-11-2009, 12:31 AM

Definitely interesting mate, might give it a go!

garjurn · 08-11-2009, 02:42 AM

I read everything you wrote. It was long but I enjoyed the reading and agree with what you say.

Some people just do not realise the anger they feel inside will drive people away.

It seems to be quite heated in this forum these days. These trolls need to learn how to appreciate life, otherwise they will die bitter for the rest of their life. How Sad...

Skirtsaroo · 08-11-2009, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bjaysan

I was creating the negativity inside me that was reflected in the world outside. I was victimizing myself.

Great quote! That sums up what you said perfectly.

But, I have to add this: It's important to identify your feelings by talking about them with a trusted friend so that you may heal. Even blogging about them in a trusted, supportive place is good.

Very nice thread.